This article is about life coaching and business coaching. A bit of both.
We’re actually focusing on something that affects you across the board in all areas of life: how to live your goals and overcome the fear that stops your growth.
If you’re into self-development, and creating the best possible life for yourself, and I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t be, then you already know that goal setting is essential in getting things done.
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When I’m coaching people or when I’m training my life coaches, what I find all the time is that people struggle with goal setting.
And there are some pretty good reasons why they struggle with it.
One of the biggest, if not the biggest, is the fear of failure.
Have you ever set yourself a goal, where it was so scary, that you actually just put it aside and said, ‘No, that’s not possible.’
Goal setting, with massive goals that scare the daylights out of you, is what most people are not willing to do. And I get it.
You don’t want to fail, feel that pain, or beat yourself up.
You don’t want to feel like a failure or loser or whatever it is that you say to yourself when you fail.
This is probably the biggest reason.
Seeing Goals From a Different Angle
I want to share a different way of looking at goals. Let’s reframe how we view goals.
You can create the life that you want in the future and now and really smash the fear.
Because if you’ve actually gone through life, trying to achieve things, and you’ve failed multiple times, well then, Hello! Welcome to the human race. That’s what we all do.
We all fail our way through life. That’s how every single human being is living their lives, but they don’t see it that way.
The only reason you and I struggle with it is when we see it that way.
Seeing it that way is when it becomes a real problem and obstacle.
And then you’re looking for ways to get over your obstacles.
But let’s be real. And this was a profound realisation for me.
Because this is something that’s happening inside of you, you have the power to actually change it.
So get ready to find out how you can do that in this short article.
Goals are great. And I live them.
That’s right. I didn’t say I love them. I love goals of course, but I didn’t say I said I live them.
You see, the goals you focus on are the wrong focus. Because it’s out there somewhere in the future.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the future when I imagine what it’s going to be like.
But I’m doing all the imagining right now. That’s so important to realise.
If I spend my whole life living in an imagined future that I’m hoping for, it will feel great till I wake up to the reality that I don’t actually have that future now.
So what really matters is that I live that goal now. That’s super important. Bring it right into the present and enjoy this very moment.
Everyone keeps going on about being present. You hear it all the time, Be present, live in the now.
Well, yes, it’s true. I mean, when are you going to live?
So let’s be real about what’s going on.
Let’s be real about living in reality now, but let’s not think of reality right now as the worst thing in the world.
The way we do this is to embrace the current moment as the best moment to experience right now.
Recognise that right now is the best moment ever.
Understand that this moment is always going to be amazing.
And if it’s not amazing, then you’re not thinking about your life as something amazing right now.
I see this all the time. The biggest dissatisfaction is when people don’t accept the current moment.
Because they’ve built up this big story in their minds about how this moment is the worst moment in the world, or it’s terrible, or dull.
This moment in time is not how they want it to be.
Filling in the Blanks
Think about this statement.
If only life could be …………you fill in the blank.
What would you fill it in with?
If only life could be x, y z. If only life could be like so and so’s life? Or if only I could have it in my life?
Fill in the blank and answer that question.
Once you make a statement there, allow yourself to see what your mind is filling that gap with.
Don’t hold it back. Challenge yourself but don’t judge yourself. Just allow yourself to see what your mind is filling that gap with.
If only, is an imaginary world. It’s something that’s being created in your mind.
If you can’t get past that, and into reality, then this is why you struggle.
It’s the one thing that just grows with the amount of thought you give to that imaginary world.
Think about it, make that statement in your mind.
If only life could be……
How does your mind finish that statement?
Stop and actually make those statements and say those things. And see how your mind answers that.
If you stay in the future, an imagined future, or stay in the past, an imagined past.
By imagined I mean that your mind is bringing the past into the present. It’s not actually real right now.
But it’s bringing it back into the present and you imagine it to be real right now.
That’s why we have the feelings that we have.
It’s because of those thoughts that we’re imagining. If you live in the past or you live in the future, then it doesn’t serve you.
Live Your Goals and Love Your Life
If you want to achieve goals in life, you have to love where you are right now. Love the plainness of life now.
Love the simplicity and the boringness of life.
Love it just the way it is. That’s reality and if you can love that, you can actually build anything you want with that.
Reality is something that you can love. And that will help you with your love of Allah.
You’ll be loving the blessings and appreciate the current moment, the way things are.
And if things are terrible, have a look around.
Is it a situation that you’re in? Is it something that you can remove yourself from in your mind?
Sometimes we’re living a very plain, day-to-day life where others around us are telling us that our life looks great, but you can’t see it.
Then it’s usually because we are in this story of our mind.
We’re constantly playing it over in our minds and it creates these horrible feelings.
If that’s the case, then you can quite easily get yourself out of that.
It’s a state. If you can come back into the reality of the plainness of life. The reality where you look around and everything’s just normal.
The drama is just happening in my mind.
Then you can come into a state of acceptance. A state of enjoying your current state of life.
That will give you the love of life, the love of Allah, and the state of gratitude.
That’s a state of mind. The word that’s often used is mindset.
You can absolutely change the way life is if you love where you are already.
You can create your life the way you want it if you can love your life already.
When you struggle to accept the way it is, and based on the people I’ve coached and the people I’ve worked with in a therapeutic manner, my guess is that you’re staying in the past or you’re in the future somewhere.
One of the biggest things about the past and the future is that those future imaginations, and the past that you’re reimagining, both create fear.
And fear destroys the goodness of life.
Because we decide that we’re going to fail in advance. We decide not to live our lives right now in the present.
Fear is one of the biggest things that keeps us in the past or the future.
The fear derails us. It steals the moment.
It takes away the wonderful blessings of the current moment that you already have in your life.
When you take away all the drama that’s going on in the mind, and you look around, you see lots of reasons to be grateful.
There are lots of reasons to be happy.
Okay, getting back to goals.
I’m talking about fear because it derails us from our goals. I’m talking about the mind because when the mind is in the past, or the future, it derails us from the present.
But the present is where you can make it happen.
You can make life happen in the present, but you’ve got to accept it first. So, goals are great, but I live them. I love them, too, but I live them.
Living them can only happen in the present. You cannot live your goals in the future, because the future does not exist except in your mind.
We imagine it. We imagine the future and it gives us hope. And that’s a great thing. But you’ve got to bring hope into the present.
Because that will create an amazing present.
I spent many years living in the future and losing the present and I didn’t realise it.
And life absolutely sucks when you live in the future. You forget the present because you put off all pleasure.
You put off all satisfaction and all happiness for a future moment when you’ll achieve those things that you want.
You tell yourself things like, ‘When I get that, then I’ll be happy. When that happens then I’ll be content. When that happens then l’’l have the life that I want.’
That’s the biggest deception. I don’t want to say that’s the biggest deception Shaytaan played on us. But Shaytaan has a lot to do with what we do.
All those whisperings he does, and he just doesn’t leave us alone.
So, all those negative thoughts, all those terrible forecastings that we do. He has some say in that. But you have the power. You can take it back.
You can bring it into the present if you live in the present and if you live your goals right now.
So, how do you live your goals right now?
The simple answer is to take action as if that future already exists.
I set myself these huge goals, that would normally scare the daylights out of me and derail me.
And instead of getting derailed and scared, I start living them as if they already exist now. And I mean, exist now in the making.
Because life is in the making.
The important question to ask is.
What does it look like to live your goals now?
Who do you have to be? Who do you have to become to create the life of your dreams right now?
If you were living that person’s life right now. What would that person be doing?
It’s the process that you need to focus on.
It’s those small steps we take every day, as a part of the process, the dream in the making. And it can be absolutely beautiful.
It can be amazing. It could be exhilarating. It could be boring, even.
But if you are living that moment, that dream-in-the-making right now, then you’re living the life.
Where Happiness Is At
Happiness is in the moment. Happiness is in the making.
Happiness is not the result. It’s in the process.
I can’t tell you how much I love to create something great, something big, something amazing. It may not be something big and great and amazing to everyone else.
But to me, it is because that’s what I’ve created. That’s what I want.
When I have these amazing goals, these huge, scary, audacious goals. It forces me to grow. It forces me to become that person.
Who is that person who lives that sort of life? Who is the person that creates those sorts of things in the world?
And then I just live that life. I just emulate. That’s all you have to do.
Just decide on it now and then you live the process.
To live your goals in the present moment, all you have to do is take action as if you’re already that person because that person lives their dreams in the making.
Just like you and I. Except that you and I look at them as if they’ve already got it.
You just need to decide who you have to be. You’ve got to decide how that person lives their day-to-day life with their dream in the making, and then take tiny steps to do the same.
Building The Dream
Make them so small that you’re almost thinking this will take forever.
And hey, so what?
So what if it takes forever? You have a lifetime. Create what you want, but live in the moment now.
Live your goals in the moment and you will love your life. You’ll be excited every day because you know that you are building dreams.
You are building dreams and you’re going to create something amazing.
That’s exactly the way I live. I’m teaching you exactly what I do.
With my Coaches, that’s exactly what I teach them. The same thing, and we take a deep dive into that.
That’s what the coaching certification programme is about.
It’s taking all the lessons that I share with you, and diving really deep into it. Taking it from theory to action, to making dreams happen.
Even if I’m busy coaching you, or coaching others on how to create the most amazing life and how to serve, how to create legacy, how to create financial freedom, and spiritual connection, and how to do these things.
If I’m focusing on all of those things, the one who benefits the most is me.
Because I’m living my dream, in the making. I’m making it happen.
And you can do exactly the same. You can take a deep dive into your life.
Have you ever invested the amount of time, money, and energy into yourself? It’s the greatest investment you can make.
Because this is the most important, the most valuable asset you have.
Your mind, you, your life.
When you invest in yourself, that time, energy, and money.
And I’m not talking about holidays. I’m not talking about homes and cars.
I’m talking about investing in your mind.
When you do that, it grows you exponentially. Create dreams right now. Live it.
That’s how we do it.
That’s how we create life. Because everything has been given to us, by Allah (swt).
We have the ability to do it because Allah(swt), the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth has given us the ability and all of the resources that we need to make it happen right now.
If you can’t see it, when you look around in your life right now, it’s probably because you’re living somewhere in a fearful future or a fearful past or something that’s derailing you from the present.
Live your goals. That’s how you do it.
If this is a bit deep, go back and read this again.
It’s deep on purpose. I want it to change your life.
I want it to give you the possibility of creating whatever you want in your life. So read it again. And again and again, if you need to.
But don’t just sit there and read.
Take Action. Make it happen.
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