#051 Confidence and Low Self Esteem

In today’s article, we explore some of the greatest challenges that the most successful people in the world face, including you. 

We are successful in different areas of our lives. 

So before you go beating yourself with the broomstick, stop.

Dealing with so many Muslim professionals, hard-working brothers and sisters I know that when we’re trying to create our lives, and trying to shape it up and make the best of it, many times we succeed in different areas of our lives.

And then we start to disregard it. 

We throw it to the curb because there are some areas in our lives where we’re really just struggling.

CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM

You may be thinking the struggle you’re having is confidence.

One of the struggles that we believe is low confidence or low self-esteem is actually just a symptom of a greater problem. 

Because we think it’s confidence and low self-esteem, we spend our lives trying to figure out how to get more confident, and how to raise our self-esteem.

And in all that work that you’re putting in, you miss the actual, core, fundamental issue that’s so small, you don’t even realise.

It’s like a pebble under your skin. 

Even though a pebble is small, it’s under your skin and it’s so irritating. 

It impacts you. It makes you think there’s something wrong with you. It sends you on this roller coaster of a journey in your life.

Even if you’re doing really well.

You’ll do so well and you’ll get to a point.

Let’s call it the glass ceiling. You get to that glass ceiling and then you knock your head against it. 

Then you throw yourself back down again. 

We end up in this uncontrolled self-sabotage that we’ve created, not knowing what we’re creating.

I’m not saying you’re doing it willfully. Most of the time we do it in a state of sheer lack of self-awareness. 

But stay with me, before you shoot off to purchase a self-awareness course. That’s not what I’m telling you to do. 

Sometimes the problems aren’t that big.

But when you go and see the “specialists”, they reinforce the message that we believe, which is that we have a huge problem. 

And once you’ve believed you have a huge problem, then you really do have a problem.

Because now you’ve got a massive problem that you can’t even find because no matter where you look for it, you’re not going to find it.

So I’m going to show you a way to actually resolve this and you’ll see the fundamentals of what creates your life experience. 

Insha’Allah, my hope is that you’re actually able to pinpoint what’s going on for you. 

If you resonate with it and you’re able to do it, you can get the ball rolling and move your life to where you want it to go.

Instead of struggling with confidence and self-esteem and whatever else you think you’re challenged with, choose a solution.

I’m not saying you don’t have these issues. If you really want to keep them, you’re welcome.

But I want to show you an easier way to get out of this. 

THE SOLUTIONS PATH

When we get stuck for a long period of time, sometimes we just don’t know how to get out of it because it’s the only way we know.

And because of it, we feel as though there’s no way. But emotional and mental drama can end. 

Because there’s always a way.

Allah (swt) did not send us to this amazing place called the world, the Dunya, except that he gave us a complete guiding map, showing us the way.

I can already sense some of those thoughts that are running through your mind like, ‘Well, I perform my Salah five times a day, I’m reading the Quran, I’m doing all these things, I’m making Dua. How come I’m stuck in this?’

Sometimes, if you pick up a different translation, you get a different take.

Sometimes you just haven’t picked up the right one. And I’m not saying go and pick up or find yourself a different version. 

I’m going to show you through the Science of the Nafs which is the Quran and Sunnah-based therapeutic coaching model, how to actually pinpoint your challenges. 

There’s always a way out. 

Because Allah (swt) says: 

وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا 

And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out

Whoever has this fear or consciousness, this love, this devotion, this light, this Taqwa. Allah(swt) will show you a way out.

There’s always a way out. 

If you’ve not found the way out, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. 

Allah (swt) knows what goes on for you.

Nothing and no one can stop the aid and support of Allah (swt) coming to you. But sometimes the way it comes to us and how and when it comes, we have no control over that.

You’ve got to be willing to expect it. No matter what the situation is, we can always find our way out. 

We just have to become resourceful, we have to start looking, we’ve got to open our eyes and we’ve got to look into things. 

And obviously, we need to take a leaf out of Revelation. If you do that, you’re going to find things that you never expected. 

Imagine this. 

When you least want to stop, and you’re trying to create your life, but the dragging situations that you find yourself in, get in your way. 

At that moment, if you are switched on and ready for a solution, you’ll always find a way. If you shine a light on those areas that are dark in your life, you’ll see a way. 

SWITCH ON YOUR LIGHT 

I’m being a bit metaphorical here but shining a light on those dark areas in your life usually has a way of just happening if you’re expecting it.

And at times, you can’t even understand how it happened. 

Have you ever been in a situation and in a problem you thought you’d never get out of and then all of a sudden you’re out of it? 

Where did that happen? How did that happen? Where did that even come from?

Allah (swt) never leaves us. 

So, the most important thing is that you will not perish in your mind, your emotions, or your life.

All you have to do is step up and find what you’re looking for.

If you look, you’ll find. If you stop looking, then of course you won’t find it. 

Here’s a simple formula.

Dua (supplication) – the anxiety or the feelings and the emotions that are driving you crazy = emotional freedom.

If you love to get results and you want a Quran and Sunnah-based solution, then the Science of the Nafs is exactly that. I train you on the foundational pillars of creating change in your life.

But before we even go into that, we need to understand where that pebble under the skin is and how to identify it. 

Because we’re thinking it’s everything else. So the best thing is to actually pay close attention to that.

If what you’ve read in this article resonates with you, then this programme will be for you. 

Insha’Allah, we will venture into the different areas of an actual transformation, what it requires for you to go through changing your life, and creating what you want of your life.

It’s the realistic stuff. I’m not talking about the hocus pocus stuff.

I’m not talking about Disneyland. I’m talking about the realistic stuff of how you truly want your life to be.

If you’re willing to actually step up and get over your challenges, get over that self-esteem stuff, get over the confidence stuff, get over the self-sabotage, then that requires you to understand what’s actually causing your challenges in the first place. 

This impacts us in our personal lives, and in our professional lives, it impacts us in our work, the way we show up in our lives, and the quality of our lives.

It impacts the quality of life which then impacts your relationships. 

And when you have a combination of those two, then things really do seem really bad.

But it’s never as bad as you think or feel. You can actually change it and get yourself out of it with the permission and mercy of Allah.