#077 How To Calm Your Mind Without Failure

Have you ever asked yourself why the mind and heart struggle to find ease and calm and when it does find that serenity, all of a sudden you’re thrown off kilter by events in your life?

All of a sudden you’re back into the the struggle or the constant unease of what’s going through your mind and heart.

In this article, I’m going to show you the real reason behind it. 

And I’ll share what you can do to begin changing that because our Creator; Allah (swt) has given us the ability to do so.

How do you actually create that ease?

The real problem is most of the time, we get stuck in this emotional/spiritual turmoil and we don’t know why.

We’re forever trying solutions that don’t actually solve the problem. You get a temporary relief and then you’re back to square one again. 

So let’s dive into what’s going to happen in your life if you take charge of emotional rewiring.

For those of you who are in the programme, my students, and those of you who are avid readers of the blog and listeners of the podcast, this is already what’s happening in the Nafs Transformation programme. 

Emotional rewiring is all about taking charge of what you feel in your day-to-day life and transforming it. And the practical daily steps of doing that. 

It’s not about lots and lots of theory because as we all know, you’re smart, you study, you read books, you watch videos, and do courses and all that. 

And you still feel what you feel. 

So rewiring is essential. It helps you to take total charge of your emotions and change them in the way that serves you and your life and helps you to actually flourish in life, despite the challenges, despite the obstacles, despite how long you’ve actually been stuck. 

I’ll tell you a bit about this at the end.

But let’s focus on the topic.

If you’re getting stuck in your life, or if you’re feeling that discomfort or sense of inner struggle, regardless of how much you work on yourself, on your life and your relationships, on your career and your business, regardless of all of the attainments, why do we still feel this constant struggle?

DOUBLE IMPACT FOCUS

Here’s Why: the link between spirituality and your mental well-being is so strong, that when you don’t focus on this duo, then it actually impacts your life when you don’t realise it.

The important thing is, why we struggle spiritually and mentally is linked. 

Think about it for a moment.

Think of whatever you’re struggling with, whatever is causing your discomfort or your challenge in your life. 

Now, don’t think too deeply about it. But just think about it and name it so that you know what it is.

Pick it now as you’re reading this. What’s the challenge you’ve got?

And here’s the truth about this. There’s another problem lurking in the background. One that we don’t actually recognise, one that’s often undetected.

When it hits us, it’s like we never even saw it coming. 

This problem is so big, it will impact all of your life, your relationships, the way you parent, the way you connect to your loved ones, the way you connect to your colleagues and your staff, and it will impact the way you connect to people in general. 

That will ultimately impact your well-being, your calm, and your inner feeling of safety.

This is almost like a forgotten problem. 

It’s the emotional and mental impact that hits your spiritual connection.

The emotional, mental, and spiritual, are all intrinsically linked.

When you don’t have this duo of emotional and spiritual connection, you actually feel a disconnection.

RECOGNISE, REWIRE, AND REVIVE YOUR MIND AND LIFE

The first step is always recognising the real problem, behind the problem.

Most of us focus on the immediate problem or what looks like the real problem. 

And lurking behind that is the problem of how you feel, both mentally and spiritually. It creates an emotional turbulence inside you which is the real problem.

Now, of course, whatever your circumstances, whatever the problem that you picked, be it a relationship, be it your work, be it achievements or lack of achievements, procrastination, anything that you’re stuck with, be it incessant thinking that you’ve got going on in your mind, and you’re obsessively trying to live your life, and you get stuck in that.

Whatever the challenge is, behind all of that, what’s really lurking is this emotional turbulence that we don’t recognise a lot of the time.

We’re so focused on what we think the problem is that we miss it. 

Now, the duo of mental and spiritual is impacted by the problem of emotional turbulence. 

When that happens, look at your challenge and ask yourself when that’s happening, and what you’re feeling in the midst of that.

How do you feel about your life? 

How do you feel when you’re making Dua? When you’re asking Allah (swt), what are you expecting? And what do you expect your future to look like?

The answers to those questions will tell you how you’re being impacted spiritually.

This mental and spiritual duo impacts your whole life.

Here’s an example. One of my students has been going through a huge challenge in her life. And it’s a new problem. 

It almost seemingly came out of nowhere. But it’s always been there. And it’s totally impacted her relationship with some of the people that are close to her.

She experiences this default way that she’s been living for many, many years, which is that she gets emotionally distraught.

But the cool thing about this is that because she’s been on this journey for a little while, she understands how to stop that from happening, and how to stop the turbulence because the problem behind the problem is always the emotional turbulence.

It’s what she’s experiencing and how if she doesn’t stop it, it will impact her life and her physical well-being.

If she doesn’t take immediate control, if she doesn’t do what she’s learned how to do, she’ll get dragged through that emotional turmoil.  

Remember, she’s got a skill set now but if she doesn’t apply that, then she’ll get dragged through the mud, dragged through the emotional turmoil of all the challenges that throw her into this awful situation.

THE POWER OF EMOTIONAL REWIRING

But instead of this, she takes total charge. 

She focuses on this emotional rewiring. 

When you’re going through a struggle, and you’re about to be thrown into a level of turbulence that you can’t handle, then the quicker you take charge of your mind and emotions, the quicker you get safeguarded by your spiritual connection.

I want you to think about it like this. Rewiring the emotional mind is like doing an electrical circuitry and rewiring that. 

It’s like your mind and heart sends electrical signals to the rest of the rest of your body. And, wherever it sends the signal, you feel some discomfort there.

Maybe it’s a feeling in your back, maybe it’s a discomfort in your neck, maybe you feel a knot in your stomach, maybe you feel the tightening of your chest, and you can feel the pressure in your body. 

It’s being created by your mind and your spiritual connection. You’re feeling all of these feelings. 

And what we want to do is change that. We don’t want you to experience something that throws you into a deeper sense of loss and hopelessness or sadness or even anger. 

So what do you do? What do we do? 

We rewire the emotional state through the mind and spiritual connection, those two; the duo. By doing that, you’ll feel the pressure just relieve itself. 

Another, simpler way to say rewire the emotional is that you’re going to change your emotional state. 

Now, when you change your emotional state, I’m not saying you’re going to change every problem around your life, but what you’re going to do is you’re going to change the core problem that impacts you the most. 

Because if you don’t change that, then you feel all the physical discomforts in your body which then extends to your relationships and how you show up.

You’re agitated, you get angry, frustrated, you withdraw

And it’s all coming from this negative experience that you’re having. 

To stop that from happening, we rewire the emotional state. You change the way that you’re experiencing your life.

You change the way you feel. 

And almost immediately, your mind sends these electrical signals to the rest of your body.

All of a sudden, you feel a sense of relief and it’s a physical feeling. You feel this immediate relief of pressure. All of a sudden, you have this lightness of the body. 

It’s like you’re energised. You’ve got the bounce back in your walk. So you’re light on your feet. 

You can see the difference. 

Think about this. You know from looking at people or even looking at yourself in the mirror, you know that people have two distinct looks. 

We’re whittling it down to two distinct looks. But here’s the thing, the mood of your face changes from the darkened, sombre cold to the brighter, almost moonlit and energised. 

When the mood of your face changes from dark, sombre, to energised, moonlit, brighter, happier face, you know that feeling that comes with both of those.

One is a sense of relief. The other is a sense of stress, pressure, and overwhelm. Because your mental, spiritual, and emotional are all directly connected. 

So when we go through this state of hopelessness and feelings of failing in life, despite all the success markers in our life, despite the achievements, despite attaining the goals and milestones, we’ll be dragged down by our mental and emotional spiritual state, unless you take charge.

So that’s exactly what my student did. And it’s amazing because when she gave me the feedback, Alhamdulillah I was extremely pleased for her. 

I knew she could do it because every one of us, every human being, Allah (swt) has given us the ability to do that.

She took total charge and Alhamdulillah totally managed her life. 

It kind of makes you ( as in actually me, the proud coach) excited for them, because you know that means a bright future.

One that you know she’ll map out and create. This is the most amazing thing because when you do this, it changes your life.

The most important thing in all of this is that your spiritual connection is almost revived. Because before that, you’re having this hopelessness, you’re making Dua, you’re asking Allah (swt)  but you’re still pretty hopeless.

You’re not expecting results; you just expect this to continue, and you see a darker future, not a brighter one.

But the minute you start to rewire your emotions, it’s like the electrical circuitry of your body changes. 

And you’re feeling energised for life, you’re feeling excited about life, you’re now looking forward to life, and you’re doing it all on purpose. 

It’s amazing.Subhanallah.

Allah (swt) has given us everything we need, there’s nothing that the Deen has missed out on. This is the most crucial message.

The Science of the Nafs is the Deen. It’s all based on the classical stuff and it helps us to realign ourselves for the best possible results in the Dunya. 

That means in your life now, today, this week, this month, this year, Insha’Allah, and then in the future.

You look forward to this brighter future. And you’re excited for that and you live into that immediately. 

This totally takes away all of the doubts because the problem that we have before we do the emotional rewiring is that our minds and lives are just overwrought with doubts. 

All those doubts impact everything in your life. 

So the minute you actually take on this process of changing your life, you do that first by the foundations of your life.

Understanding the foundations of your mind and how you’ve been designed. That’s key. 

If you tap into the God-given skills that you already have, you’ve just got to brush up on them, reboot them, and revive them. 

And it changes everything.

You need that emotional rewiring to change all of that. You need to focus on not being impacted by your emotions and being dragged through the mud of emotional turbulence.

But instead, raising yourself up. Living up to your potential is really about tapping into what’s already inside of you.

It’s not about you needing to go out and get more achievements and find more goals and all of that stuff.

None of that is the foundation. That’s all the extra benefit stuff. The real foundation is you. 

A lot of times we think that because we’ve been stuck for so long, there’s something wrong with us.

But Allah; Azzawajal created you with His perfect creation.

He created you and that means that you literally are and have been created by the only perfection there is; Allah (swt) so you have all that you need. 

If you can understand this, you have the cognition or the mental faculty to understand this. Your mind is your superpower.

I’m not talking about your intellect. I’m talking about your mind.

If you don’t know what that is because you haven’t been listening to my podcasts, you haven’t done any of the programmes I’ve run or you haven’t read the blogs then you want to get focused on exactly what I’m teaching here because it will change your life!