#010 What’s Wrong with Me?

 In this article, I want to make you aware of something that is built within you, an innate alarm system, which helps us to tackle a common question many of us ask ourselves. “What’s wrong with me?”

It’s connected to your Fitrah, your natural disposition, the way that we’ve been created. It’s like an internal guiding guidance system. 

Every time you go off track, it sets off this alarm system within you. 

When the alarm system goes off, you start to look inward. 

You start feeling like there’s something wrong with you, or you think, Why can’t I be happy? Why don’t I feel content? 

This is something that I personally struggled with most of my life and did not even recognise at times. 

Hence, I’m going to share something that will make you see this in a different way.

DON’T FORGET LIFE COACH WEEK IS COMING – 30th October we begin insha’Allah.

The Blessing within Your Heart: Belief

One of the challenges that people have is that they believe there’s something wrong with them. They might not say that to you.

This might even be you thinking that and you’re not saying it to anyone. It’s that voice inside us that whispers, “Something isn’t right.”

And I get it because I’ve been there. But that’s actually not such a bad thing. 

Allah says in Surah Hujuraat, verse 7:

وَلَٰكِنَّ اللَّهَ حَبَّبَ إِلَيْكُمُ الْإِيمَانَ وَزَيَّنَهُ فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ وَكَرَّهَ إِلَيْكُمُ الْكُفْرَ وَالْفُسُوقَ وَالْعِصْيَانَ ۚ أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الرَّاشِدُونَ

but Allah has endeared to you the faith and has made it pleasing in your hearts and has made hateful to you disbelief, defiance and disobedience. Those are the [rightly] guided.

Allah says that He made Emaan (Belief) beloved to you.

وَزَيَّنَهُۥ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ

And He’s beautified it within your heart. 

Believe it or not, this is actually the internal guidance system. This is the thing that sets off when you’re not expecting it and it’s telling you to wake up.

You wake up the very Emaan, that very belief that you and I have which is inside of the heart. 

Because Allah says,

 وَزَيَّنَهُۥ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ

What we’re being told is that this has been made beloved to you.

Imagine you’re feeling like you don’t really like yourself.

Or there’s something not quite right.

You don’t feel good and you’re looking internally. 

Whatever it may be that you’re feeling, maybe low self-esteem, low confidence, and these alarm bells going off inside of you. But you’re not reading it.

Instead, what you’re doing is looking at yourself and thinking oh, what’s wrong with me?

Missing Peace?

What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel peace? 

You’re successful in your career, you’re successful with your family and whatever you’ve put your hands to. But you’re not feeling the peace. 

But here’s the amazing thing. One of the greatest blessings that you and I, all of us have ever had, is this Emaan.

It’s the love of Emaan. The love of belief. That belief is what keeps us safe. 

That’s why I liken it to the internal alarm system, an alarm bell that sets off when you’re in line with it.

In this particular verse, Allah (swt) the Most Merciful, Al Wadud, the Ever Loving, tells us that this belief has been beautified and is something that we love. 

That tells us it’s like an indicator and when you’re heading towards it, when you’re living in congruence with it, you’re loving the experience. 

But then, if we do something, that kind of crosses the boundaries, and we start going the other way, it’s like the alarm bell goes off. And it’s like trying to pull you back. 

I’ve actually spent many years being tormented by this alarm bell, this internal desire to be a perfect believer, a perfectionist. 

But Subhanallah, no matter what I’ve tried, what you find is that Emaan fluctuates. 

When I immersed myself in things that strengthen my Emaan, taking good actions, things that are pleasing to Allah (swt), all of a sudden, I felt the strength of Emaan.

You feel empowered. 

This Emaan, this belief, this thought that’s anchored in your heart. It’s empowering you and makes you feel great.

Misreading the Alarm 

However, when I feel like I’m not doing that which is in congruence or in alignment with that Eman then I feel weaker. 

It’s in those moments that the internal alarm bell goes off, warning me that I need to do something to change direction, to gain  that connection and that closeness to Allah. 

To increase in goodness, and being a good presence in the world. 

When you’re feeling that weakness and the alarm bell’s going off. What we often do is misread the alarm bell and we start to look at it as a cracked mirror. 

This cracked mirror, reflected back to you that you’re not good enough.

You go through life, trying to be connected, trying to have a strength of Emaan, strength of belief, and increase in that strength by being this perfect version of yourself. 

We all have these perfect versions of ourselves, the perfect YOU. But no matter how hard you try, there are others that you feel and think are doing better than you. 

We’re always looking at other people. Then you look inward, you think there’s something wrong and you start to compare yourself.

The greatest irony in this is that I work with some pretty active, productive, and successful people. 

They’re successful in their careers; but it doesn’t matter how successful we are in any endeavour in our lives,  we still struggle with this thing.

We misread the alarm bell to be a cracked mirror, reflecting this imperfect version of ourselves.

A version that we could never be happy with. 

We all have strengths and weaknesses, but we can only see the weaknesses. 

The answer here doesn’t lie in you focusing on your weaknesses. 

People go through life, focusing more and more on their weaknesses, trying to improve, trying to redress the balance. 

So they try to change those weaknesses to strengths.

But that’s not the way to win. That’s not the way to change your life and make it what you want it to be. 

That’s not the way to look at yourself and be happy with yourself. 

I want you to understand that in this verse of Surah Hujuraat, Allah (swt), Al-Wadud; The Ever- loving is telling you that Emaan; Belief; those thoughts are deeply entrenched and anchored in your heart. 

Beautified in your heart.

That Emaan is like an alarm bell when you’re going against it. And when you’re in alignment with it, you’re loving the experience. 

Now, if you’re going against it, it’s just telling you there’s something that needs to be addressed. It’s not telling you that there’s something wrong with you. 

And the greatest thing that we can address is that connection with Ar-Rahman because that’s what we need. 

If you can get that right and in alignment, then it doesn’t matter what goes on in the world, you’re always going to be okay. 

So when that alarm bell goes off, you need to stop looking inside and telling yourself there’s something wrong with you and focus more on your connection. 

When the alarm bell goes off, don’t look within yourself for flaws. Instead, focus on strengthening your connection with Allah. 

Because that’s where your strength and power is. 

Your Greatest Strength 

The greatest blessing is your love of Emaan, the love of Belief.

Belief is the lens through which we look at life. It’s the anchor, it’s the power that you have in your life. 

If you can focus on that, and strengthen that, instead of focusing on those so-called weaknesses or inadequacies or whatever it is that we don’t like about ourselves, you can become powerful. 

Every single one of us is human. There will be things about yourself that you’re not going to particularly like. 

But if you focus on those things incessantly,  then you’re not going to enjoy life. 

On the other hand, if you focus on what empowers you, you’re going to love and enjoy life. 

If you want to get to a place where you can love it and enjoy it. And revel in all of the blessings that you have, the greatest blessing that you have. 

I keep referring to it as Emaan but let’s call it what it is; Belief. 

These are thoughts that have been anchored in your heart, the belief that’s going to empower you and give you all that you need. 

It’s the connection between you and Ar-Rahman; Allah (swt). That’s where your answer is. 

If you focus on your strengths, you’ll only get stronger and stronger. And you’ll create the balance that’s needed, despite the fact that you’ve got some weaknesses. 

The truth is, there is no real balance, you will still have weaknesses. 

But if you strengthen your strengths, then all of a sudden, you’ve redressed the balance. 

In my own experience, I’ve come to realise that even strengths are not all of those things that you’re, “naturally good at.”

Those are not strengths. 

The greatest strength that you have is the strength of Belief. Because Belief is what gets you through life. 

Belief is what empowers you to become as confident as you need to be. Belief is the connection that gives you everything you need.

Allah says, If you love being that believer, then you’re going to taste the sweetness of faith, the courage that it gives you, and the hope that it plants in your heart.

It becomes the greatest asset you’ve got; greater than anything else. 

Greater than time itself. Because that Belief transcends time.

It’s the greatest asset and it’s the seed of empowerment. 

Actions Aligned with Beliefs 

So you want to plant that firmly in your heart and water it with good thoughts and reflection and good deeds and actions.

When I say good deeds, I’m talking about taking action, because action is the only way to take steps. 

And the action of the heart is the belief. You can take a look at the mirror of the heart.

The mirror of the heart is the action that we take. 

If your actions are not aligning with your belief, then all that’s telling you is that the alarm bells are going off and you just need to take action without thinking. 

Because the belief is already there.

Take action that’s in alignment with that belief. You’re going to find that it strengthens you, empowers you, and you’re going to feel amazing. 

The strength of belief will raise you when you feel down. It will strengthen your resolve when you feel weak.

It will make you the light in your life and in the life of others.

It’s the foundation of a person’s well-being; connected to the Most Merciful and this can only happen through those thoughts and beliefs that are anchored in your heart.

So don’t fall prey to toxic thoughts that you’re not good enough, or that you can never be good enough, or the best version of yourself.

You can absolutely be the best version of yourself when your action is in alignment with those beliefs.

It’s the belief, that lens, that seed within your heart that will empower you and give you the peace, tranquillity, motivation, confidence, the self-belief, that you’re looking for and need to thrive.

Don’t forget that belief is just a thought that is anchored in your heart. 

But it’s the kind of thought that will make you happy.

It will carry you to greatness, confidence, self-belief, and belief in the greatest power of all, Allah(swt)

It will change your life forever. 

And if you’re wondering, How am I going to use this to empower myself? 

How do I get that peace and tranquillity? That’s what I’m looking for. I’ve had all this success, and I’m still looking for peace and tranquillity. 

If that’s you, then that feeling is the alarm bell telling you to align your actions with your belief because the home of belief is your heart. 

Allah beautified it there so you’ve got to become strong and positive. Become empowered by the thoughts in your heart. 

If you cover up that natural shine and beauty of Emaan, then you’re going to struggle.

If you uncover it and allow it to shine through in your life, it will wipe away the self-doubt, the self-hate, the dislike, the ingratitude. 

The doubts that rock your foundations will be wiped away.

One of the greatest ways to empower yourself is through Tawba; through Istighfaar, turning back to Allah (swt).

Asking for the mercy of the Most Merciful, asking and beseeching Al-Wadud for the love, and increasing the love of Allah in your heart by seeing him clearly. 

Not through these negative, disempowering beliefs and toxic thoughts. 

All you have to do is recognise and become aware of it and it will empower you.

This all sounds very esoteric. But this is all about the actions of the heart and the actions of your limbs which have to align with the actions of the heart. 

The actions of the heart are the Belief because it’s something that we do. It’s something that we’re conscious about.

The minute you can get this in alignment, everything else starts falling into alignment too. 

Your love for Belief is your greatest blessing. It’s your anchor, your lens, and your source of empowerment.

By nurturing it, you’ll find the peace, tranquillity, motivation, and self-belief you’re looking for. 

So, embrace it, strengthen it, and let it guide you toward a life of fulfilment and contentment because Belief has the power to change your life.