#039 Mind Health Wealth and Spirituality

This article is all about helping you to help yourself.

I coach you to coach yourself. The main aim is for you to create an amazing life and for you to create an amazing life, you have to have mind health and wealth. 

This is about creating your mental health. Then once you created that mental health, how to create and take ownership of your life so you don’t have this constant state of flux in your emotional state.

Let me just explain to you what I mean by mental health mental health. 

This is the baseline. This is the Science of the Nafs.

Nafs literally means you, the soul, or the person.

HOW TO TAKE LEAPS OF COURAGE AND CONNECTION

The Science of the Nafs is about getting to the baseline which is health. 

But mental wealth is about going beyond the baseline into becoming the most optimum version of you. Thriving and living where you’re not in fear. 

But instead, you’re living from taking courageous leaps in your life. 

This is the science of a person and there are three fundamental foundations to this.

The health is about getting to baseline where you’re okay, you’re doing well. 

The wealth is about living an abundant life. 

Allah (swt) sent the Quran as a source of guidance so that you can live the best life, not so that we can struggle and just get through life. 

That’s not the point of it. 

If that were the case, then the many Athkaar (prayers and duas) that Allah(swt) teaches us through the Quran, wouldn’t be pushing us towards excelling and doing amazing in our lives. 

And the most amazing that you’re going to do is going to be dependent on how you are internally. 

That’s in your mind and your heart. 

The Science of the Nafs is a science that goes back as far as the beginning of Islam. 

In the classical books, you’re not going to find any psychology, you’re not going to find anything that’s been separated as spirituality.

You have it in the Scholars’ works, but when we’re talking about the Quran and Sunnah, it’s a combination. 

This is a human science that allows us to live to the best of our existence. 

NAFS PSYCHOLOGY: UNDERSTANDING YOU 

What is the Science of the Nafs?

The Nafs itself and I’ll refer to it at times as Nafs psychology, because the psychology is so essential. 

Essentially, it’s a science of human experience, how to live, how to get the best out of your life, how to understand the guidance of Allah, so that you can get the best out of your life and the guidance of Allah, specifically coming from the Quran and the Sunnah. 

This is not new.

It’s been taught over and over again, for more than 1000 years.

There are scholars that go right back to the beginning that actually dealt with this on a clinical level.

They used the science to help their patients get to a state of mental wealth, not just to become healthy, but to really accelerate and do exceptionally well. 

So we’re looking at psychology from the perspective of Revelation. 

The framework is that the science comprises of three fundamentals, three foundations, and three pillars. 

The first pillar is spirituality. To define spirituality, this is your connection with Allah. 

This is the source of your true and only real, lasting inner contentment. 

Inner contentment, but not just to be at a baseline, but to be at a place of strength.

The second foundation or the second pillar is the psychological experience that we go through. 

This is you, this is the Nafs, so this is your experience of the world, how you experience your day-to-day life. 

It determines your experience throughout life.

The third pillar is physiology.

So far we’ve got spirituality, you’ve got psychology, and you’ve got physiology.

The physiology is where spirituality and psychology play out in your physical being. 

So if you’re challenged spiritually, if you have a spiritual disconnect, for example, that’s going to affect you physically. 

If you are challenged psychologically, that’s going to affect you physically. 

In modern health and psychology, they talk about this being psychosomatic.

Amongst us, there are some doctors, there are people who are trained in psychiatry, there are people amongst us who are trained in different modalities of psychology, such as Neuro Linguistic Programming, Three principles, Inside out, hypnotherapy, and different modalities.

Regardless of your modality, you’re going to agree with me on certain things. 

And this is not about agreement and disagreement or comparison.

I’m trained in some of those, but I want to present something based on Revelation. 

Allah (swt) says in the Quran, 

 أَفَلَا يَتَدَبَّرُونَ الْقُرْآنَ أَمْ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبٍ أَقْفَالُهَا

Then do they not reflect upon the Qur’an, or are there locks upon [their] hearts?

Do they not reflect upon the Quran? Or is upon their heart a lock or a seal?

Essentially, Allah is telling us about those people who don’t reflect. 

We all have different specialties and what I present to you, I’m going to try my utmost to keep my opinions to myself, because I present you something based on the Quran and Sunnah. 

Regardless of what your understanding is, keep an open heart, not an open mind. 

Because Allah talks about when the hearts are closed.

So Allah says, that when the hearts are closed, there’s no reflection, meaning that we can’t really think.

In the Islamic sciences, we think with our minds and we think with our hearts.

There are two types of thinking. These two are essential to understand.

I want to share an example of physiology, 

The three fundamental principles, spirituality, psychology, and physiology, where the three meet.

Psychosis, for example, is where someone is considered to not be in a state of reality, meaning that they’re not living in the real world, at that moment.

Whatever they’re experiencing, is because of some emotional trauma or something that they’re experiencing.

When that happens, a person is affected spiritually. Remember I said, spirituality is about your connection to Allah. 

So the spirituality; your connection to Allah is disrupted, but you start to lose trust in Allah and then you don’t feel secure.

You feel like, no one’s got your back, no one’s looking after you. 

And in that state, a person is affected physically.

Psychologically, they’re affected. They have a disruption in the spiritual connection to Allah. 

And maybe they’re having, tightness of the chest, difficulty breathing, palpitations, anxiety, and panic attacks,

These are all very physical. So the three are connected.

If this falls out of sync, any one of them,  we are affected. 

Fundamentally, for a person to do exceptionally well in their life, or just to be at baseline and be happy, get on through life and be functional, or even highly functional, they have to do well in all three.

Doing well in all three means you can be healthy, which is the baseline, or you can be wealthy, where you’re thriving and doing exceptionally well.

Obviously, the better you do, the better you will do in life. 

The better you are, the better your relationships will be.

The better you are, the less stress you’ll feel, and the less angry you will be with your spouse, your colleagues, or your kids.

You will be less on edge. It gives you the quality of life.

Based on this, if this is out of sync most of us struggle emotionally and mentally, because one of these three things if not more, is disrupted. 

When you’re out of sync with your natural way of being, then you’re going to have a problem.

I know that many of us struggle with ourselves.

So the first thing, when you talk about the connection of Allah, we struggle with that connection with Allah.

We don’t say it but we think it.

Sometimes we don’t even think about it consciously. But we don’t trust that Allah will take care of us, because of our experiences through life, we start to lose trust in what’s going to happen. 

And when you lose trust, you become affected in all sorts of ways. 

It affects us in our Deen, it affects us in our living experience, how we interact with other people, and it affects us in our physical self. 

You may be suffering from chronic fatigue, you may be suffering from fibromyalgia-like pain, it may or may not even be diagnosed, but you have constant pain that it’s like the new norm.

So, again, these three things are all connected. 

That’s why the Science of the Nafs is a science of human potential.

Once you get past the baseline, you start to do well. 

My goal is to give you a basic foundational understanding of what every human being needs to do well in life, to do great in life. 

The foundation is the information but I tell my students all the time, that information is not transformation.

Information alone will not change your life. 

Here’s an example. I have many people who I work with or we have interactions. They’re highly qualified in theology, or in physiology or psychology, whatever it is, in all three of the aspects.

But just having the information gives us enough to cope. 

It doesn’t give us enough to thrive or even sometimes be at baseline, to be healthy. 

Being healthy is just a baseline, according to this science.

If you speak to anyone who understands this, baseline is when you’re doing okay.

You could get a bit bored when you’re at baseline because you don’t feel like you’re thriving. 

Once you’re at baseline, you feel okay, and you want to do things in life. 

Now I want to do those things that I’ve put off all of this time, because of all the challenges I’ve had. 

And at that point, you can take a leap. 

As mentioned, knowledge is not transformation.

If you want this information to transform your life, you’re going to have to go step by step. 

This is why I give it in bite-sized chunks so that you can digest it, use it and so that it can become your energy.

Now, let’s focus on a couple of verses dealing with the fundamentals.

THRIVING PERSONALLY AND HELPING OTHERS THRIVE

Looking at the first pillar.

If you apply this stuff, it’s going to really help you to transform your own lives. 

If you’re a coach already, or a therapist or trained in psychology and you want to take this and apply it in your work, my suggestion is to use it to help yourself first. 

If you can get to a place where you thrive, you’re going to be able to help other people thrive as well. 

The first verse  is from Suratul Baqarah. Allah (swt) says,

ذَٰلِكَ الْكِتَابُ لَا رَيْبَ ۛ فِيهِ ۛ هُدًى لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ

This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah

This is the Book where there is no doubt.

There’s no doubt, no uncertainties. And it’s a guide; Huda for the Muttaqeen

To keep this brief, the Muttaqeen are people who are connected.

So we’re talking about spirituality because this is the key to your life.

When we look at any other psychology model, there are some new age psycho-spiritual psychology models around but when you look at any psychology model, especially traditional psychology, Freudian psychology, Jung, or whatever, there’s no God in the picture. 

So what Muslims do and what I’ve observed a lot and obviously I’ve trained in different modalities I know that this is what we Muslims do. 

We take our expertise in whichever understanding we have, whether it’s CBT, NLP, hypnotherapy, whatever it is, psychotherapy and we reframe it within an Islamic framework because we know that you must have God in the picture. 

So in the Quran and Sunnah and in the Science of the Nafs.

Of course, it’s all based on your connection to Allah.

Because, addressing a human need immediately, Allah says,

This is a book where there’s no doubt.

OVERCOMING DOUBT 

Why do we struggle in life? 

Think about this and ask yourself a question.

If you struggle with anything or you have a lot of worries about something. Why do you worry? What are you worried about?

Often it’s things that you’re thinking about, like your relationships, your finances, bank balance, your future, and how the kids are going to turn out.

Are the kids going to be okay with all of what’s going on? 

All of these things go through your mind and it creates doubt.

And when you’re in a state of doubt, you’re also in a state of uncertainty and that’s when you feel insecure. 

When feeling insecure and uncertain, and your connection with Allah isn’t good, then you won’t be okay.

You could be praying five times a day, praying Tahajjud, making Dua every day, doing all of those things but there’s something going on that’s disconnecting you and making you feel insecure. 

When that happens, a person’s sense of mental well-being is affected, and the baseline of being okay. 

The baseline of being okay, is no longer at baseline, all of a sudden you’re in a state of doubt.

You feel insecure. 

When you feel insecure. How do you show up?

Think about it.

When you don’t feel secure in your relationships, how do you show up in that relationship?

When you don’t feel secure in your finances? How does it make you feel?

Do you ever feel on edge? Do you feel like you’re constantly worried about whatever’s going on in your life? Where does that worry come from? 

Have you asked yourself that question? 

Because when Allah says, This is the Book where there’s no doubt, and it’s a guide.

What’s it a guide for? It’s a guide to get the best out of life. 

He (swt)  says It’s guidance for those who have Taqwa.

Taqwa is translated as awareness of Allah, or God-consciousness or piety.

But Taqwa is having trust in Allah, being aware of Allah, and knowing that Allah has your back no matter what it seems like.

When your connection is secure, you’re going to feel secure, regardless of the challenges, but when your connection becomes insecure, you’re going to be shaken. 

You’ll feel like I don’t know if I can make this.

All of the things that have happened to you, you’re going to feel like, what’s wrong with me?

Why can’t I handle this? How come everyone else can manage this?

We start asking ourselves those questions, it’s like sipping poison slowly because it poisons the mind. And it poisons the heart. 

When you start believing that stuff, then your connection with Allah becomes weaker because your trust in Allah becomes weaker.

So when Allah says to us, This is a Book where there’s no doubt, Allah knows that for us to do well and not live in fear, we have to be in a state of security.

We have to feel secure, and like we know what’s happening.

Even if you can’t see it, because you can’t see what happens tomorrow.

If you know, you’re going to go to work tomorrow, you can’t see what’s going to happen tomorrow. But the fact is, you’re okay with it, you feel secure about it. 

You don’t have any worries about it, or if you do have worries, it’s because you have some doubts about what’s going to happen at work tomorrow.

If I asked you to prove that would happen. The likelihood is no.

Because you can’t tell the future.

Look at what doubt does to us. Doubt throws us into a state of insecurity and when we’re insecure, we behave badly.

We are stressed. 

We show up stressed in our relationships, stress with our children, stressed with our colleagues, and with ourselves.

The worst of it is how we show up with ourselves.

Because however you are with others, you’re far worse with yourself.

I’m speaking from experience.

I didn’t stumble upon psychology, I studied it to figure my own mind out. And the same goes for you. 

You’re not here for me, you’re here because you want to figure out your mind.

You want to figure out your connection to Allah, you want to figure out why you go through the turbulent times that you go through.

Everyone is in it for themselves, but not in a selfish way.

They’re trying to get themselves to feel good, to be in a good place.

Allah gives us the baseline for beings being in that state.

The opposite of that is that being in a constant state of fear and stress.

Your mental state of affairs is affected. You feel under pressure. 

You feel like you can’t get things wrong.

“If I get things wrong, how’s it going to turn out? What will the consequences be? 

That’s what we do. We live in that future.

Imagine this. The Quran, there’s no doubt in it. 

And it’s talking about the future. It’s like a map with different routes and if you follow that map, it leads you straight to where you need to be. Living an optimum life.

That’s why it’s called Siratul Mustaqeem.

The struggles become much easier to deal with. Remember the example of psychosis earlier.

When a person is in psychosis, they’re in a made-up state of mind. They’re not in reality with the rest of us.

We see the world the way we see it, but they see it in a very exaggerated way, but totally different because they’re not living in the reality that we are living in.

When you’re living in reality, you’re made to do well.

In this reality, you’re made to do well because Allah(swt) says,

He does not burden you with what you cannot handle.

That means you can handle the reality of your life.

But when we lose ourselves spiritually, then psychologically and physically we’re affected.

Everything is connected, so we tend to not do so well.  Then it can spiral out of control. 

This is very practical stuff directly connected to your life. There’s so much benefit in this for you.

SECURITY THROUGH TRUSTING ALLAH

If you’re in a state of security, you can take a leap.

Here’s an example involving my baby son.  

When I take him out of the car, I always say, “Jump”.

And he won’t jump until I grab his hands or he grabs my hands. When he grabs it, he feels it’s secure. Because he knows I’m not going to let go of him. 

Then he’ll jump. But until he feels secure, he won’t jump. 

That’s with most of us. Until we feel secure, we won’t take a leap, we won’t take that jump.

But unless you leap, you’re always going to be at baseline even if you can get to baseline but if you want to, if you want to really live up to the potential that Allah(swt)  has created us with then you have to take a leap.

That takes courage. That takes being secure and secure means being connected. 

That’s the very first principle.

In this programme, I teach my students this over a year. 

But this is foundational and it will give you everything you need to take a leap. To have courage, to get yourself to baseline.

You don’t go from bad to great. No one does that. You go from bad to good. Good is the baseline, good is I’m doing all right. 

Maybe I’m a little bit bored at times, but I’m doing alright, I’m happy.

I’m getting along with my business, whatever it is.

But going from there to great, you take leaps and you can only take leaps with security.

That’s why Allah(swt) tells us immediately, the minute you open the Quran, that there is no doubt in this Book. 

He’s our Creator. He knows how psychology works, he knows how the spiritual connection is. So he knows what we need. 

So he gives us that immediately, the minute we open the Quran.

Now, if you can get rid of the doubts, you will start to feel certainty.

That would help you to feel secure. Hence the need for spiritual connection.

A connection with Allah, guided by certainty. The certainty is the Quran and the Sunnah.

That’s the one timeless thing we can be certain of because it’s Kalam of Allah. 

It’s the very foundation of every human being, all of us.  

Allah (swt) said to the Prophet(saw), ‘I haven’t sent you, except as a mercy to all of mankind,’,

Not to the Muslims, all of mankind.

However, Allah tells us this guide, this map, no one will follow it, except the Muttaqeen, except those who are aware of Allah, except those who are connected to Allah, those who love Allah, and trust Allah.

That’s why this is the foundation because the foundation of life is based on this.

Today we have spiritual psychology, different modalities of it, but you have the spiritual psychologists because they know that psychology has been devoid of God up until now. 

And it’s not good enough to quieten the mind.

If you want to thrive, if you want healing, you need the Shifaa from Allah.

No one can give you healing except Allah.

So, if you want to go beyond, and take massive leaps in life, then applying the tools of the Nafs will enable you to. 

The Science of the Nafs is a behavioural science.

It enables you to go from bad to good, where you’re doing really, really well.

When you’re at a good level, it becomes about peak performance.

It becomes about elevating yourself to a level of Ihsan.

And Ihsan is not perfection, there is only one perfection, Allah(swt)

Most of us who struggle with being perfectionists, do so because we’re in a state of fear.

We don’t say that. I know because I’ve done it myself for many years.

We fear getting it wrong, looking bad, failing, and all of it.

Fear comes from doubt, it doesn’t come from certainty. 

So, if you want to take a leap in life, you have to feel that certain relationship, that certain connection with Allah and you have to take care of yourself.

This is why Allah(swt) says this is a guide for the Muttaqeen

He didn’t say this is a guide for those who know the Muttaqeen

So you have to be aware of yourself, you have to take care of yourself because you can’t give to others what you don’t have. 

Back to the doubt, the fear, the anxiety, the panic, all sorts of challenges come from the doubts that we experience.

The minute you go through life without guidance, it’s like going through life in the dark. 

You’ll be scared and fearful. You’ll be worried about getting it wrong, worried about what people think of you. 

You won’t take action in your life. And that will create the perfect environment in your mind and your heart to be plagued with negative thoughts.

You’ll throw yourself into this abyss of negativity, because you’re allowing it.

We don’t do it purposely, I know.  

I work with clients who have been in pretty bad situations, with general anxiety disorders, and depression.

It could be the worst emotional experience, but it’s playing out physically and they’re stuck in this for years. 

How do they get out of it?

By doing what I’m sharing with you, by acting upon it.

The biggest thing we all need first is to become aware of how we work and that’s why the guidance and the connection to Allah.

If you understand that, you’re going to have everything.

More than baseline, because you’ve got the Creator of the Heavens and Earth on your side.

Most of the time we feel alone, and we think, where is Allah when I have my problems, when I’m making my Dua?

But what about, when I’m making dua, and I’m not believing that Allah will answer me, I’m not thinking about that. 

Most of us don’t think about that. 

If you take care of yourself, and you take care of your connection to Allah, first and foremost, then Allah will take care of you. 

There’s no doubt about it. Allah will take care of you. 

No amount of psychological work, calming the mind, or whatever you’re doing to help yourself will compensate for a disconnection in your spiritual well-being; your connection to Allah.  

That’s the source of all true inner contentment. 

Think of just one moment where you’ve been truly spiritually high.

My guess is in that moment, you felt confident, like your life was okay, and you could handle it. 

But when that moment starts to wither, then you don’t feel that anymore. 

That’s when we struggle. 

The second verse I want to share with you and still based on this, deals with the elephant in the room.

The one that we’re all afraid of, and we’re not dealing with.

Allah says, in Surah Al Ankabut,

‘Oh, my worshipper.’

The way that Allah says this is like speaking to a loved one. 

Oh, my beloved, because Allah connects you to Himself. 

So He says, Oh, my worshipper that believes, indeed, my Earth is spacious.

It’s huge. You don’t have to stay in one place. 

So make sure that you worship me alone.

Then he says, Every soul shall taste death and then they will be returned to me. 

Why is this the elephant in the room?

If you ask someone what’s the worst thing that could possibly happen? 

And the answer is, I might die. It might kill me. 

We fear death. And the thing about this fear is that it dominates your mind. 

And it can absolutely derail you from life itself. 

Many people don’t want to get out of bed, they don’t want to do things. They’re in a constant state of fear.

And that’s the worst that can happen. 

TASTE OF TRANSITION TO ETERNITY 

Look at what Allah says in the verse. 

Allah says, Oh my beloved servant. Oh, my beloved worshipper. 

He refers to us in the most loving way. And then after saying all that, he says, every soul shall taste death. 

That’s the inevitable. We all know that.

Everyone will traverse that path.

Imagine you say to your child or someone that you love, Oh my beloved, you’re going to die. 

You start off by saying, Oh my beloved, and you’re smiling with your hands out, you’re going to die, I’m going to kill you. 

You’re not going to do that right?

It doesn’t even make sense to do that. You don’t refer to someone as your beloved, your beloved child, and then threaten them with death. 

So, when Allah (swt) says, Every soul shall taste death and then straight after he says, and then they will be returned to me.

Who am I? Who is this?

Allah is saying, referring to you in the most loving way, Oh my worshipper.

When we start the Quran what do we say every single time? 

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim; In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

The most compassionate, the Most Merciful, the eternally merciful. 

We begin with that. So Allah is not trying to scare you with death.

Allah is saying, you’ll go through life. It’s just a journey. It’s a part of your journey. 

This is the good news. It’s just a part of your journey. 

The good news is, you’re going to live forever. 

You’re going to live eternally. 

There’s no end. 

Tasting that death is the transition from this life, from Dunya, to the Akhira, going from the lowest to the highest.

The highest is that when you return, you return to the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful, the Most Forgiving, the one who is eternally forgiving. 

ALLAH’S INFINITE MERCY

It doesn’t matter how many mistakes you’ve made. If you turn back to Allah, Allah will forgive you. 

He is Al Wadud.  No one can love you more than Allah loves you.

No one will forgive you more than Allah will forgive you. 

If you ever send me a dodgy message, I’m going to block you.

But Allah won’t block you. 

When you raise your hands and you make Dua and you don’t believe that Allah is going to help you, still, Allah is not going to block you. 

Allah is going to love you. 

He’s going to shower His mercy upon you.

You’re going to be blown away with his mercy. You don’t need to fear death. 

If death is the worst thing that can happen, it’s just a part of the journey. 

But the thing is, who wants to die anyway?

No one sits there thinking about dying. Or if they do it’s because they’re in a terrible state of mind. 

No one wants to die. 

Because the Most Merciful Creator of the Heavens and Earth has created within us this self-preservation.

We want to be alive. It’s in our system; built-in. It’s there to protect you.

It’s not there to protect you from Allah. It’s there to take you back to Allah. 

After the Dunya, we will return back to Allah.

The primary foundation of your well-being is the connection to Allah.