#026 Stuck in Emotional Struggle

In this article, we’re focusing on the emotions of feeling  stuck. This is a universal experience that we all face from time to time. Every one of us feels it, but we delve into how to overcome, master and thrive during these times. 

Everyone, regardless of what level of success and happiness they have in their lives, also has days and months and years even for some of us, where we just feel stuck.

So, how do you get unstuck? Why do we feel it?

We get stuck in life trying to feel good.

You want to feel good, but you don’t feel good when you feel stuck. 

So let’s look at why we feel stuck and how we struggle to take action.

Because, when you feel stuck, you find it difficult to take action. 

You find it difficult to do the things that would otherwise normally make sense. Then you’re sitting there wondering why you can’t do it. 

How do we struggle to take action, in the very things that we so desire to have in our lives?

Stuck in the Mind 

The number one reason that people get stuck, or procrastinate, or remain in avoidance of what they feel they must do, is that they’re stuck in their minds. 

That’s the short answer. 

People get stuck in their minds and being stuck in the mind means being emotionally blocked. 

Because of the wish to avoid some feeling or situation or attain some feeling. We are trying to avoid certain emotions, or situations, or seeking a particular feeling, and as a result, we create mental barriers

So in this short, coaching lesson, we will look at what you can do to get unstuck, to loosen your situation until you can take actions that you really want to take in your life. 

People have really struggled to create the lives that they want because of that feeling of being stuck.

And it’s a terrible thing when the feeling stays for a prolonged period. 

So many people I deal with in my coaching practice, with my clients, with the trainee coaches, despite how much success they’ve had in their lives or in their previous or current careers, feel stuck. 

And when they feel stuck, it’s like nothing can happen. 

It’s what I call a mind-made prison. 

And it really feels like a prison sentence, where there’s nowhere to go and nothing can be done. You’re just stuck. 

The Prison of the Mind and How to Break Free

So the first point which you must get is that the feeling of being stuck in any situation is a mind-made circumstance. 

Because in reality, you cannot be stuck. There are always options. 

However, if you feel stuck, it’s because you closed your mind to the available options. 

We do this by telling ourselves there’s no other way. 

The Dead End Road – Or is it?

Have you ever found yourself saying, No, no, no, this is it.?

This is me. That’s the way I do it. Or this is the only way that it can be done. I can’t see any other way.

Or even, the dreaded I don’t know.

I hear this all the time when I ask people, my coaches, when I ask my clients, ‘What’s causing this? What’s going on here?’ 

The answer is, “I don’t know.”

That I don’t know is a dead-end road. I don’t know means that I’m not going to look. Because it’s not possible that I could know. 

I don’t know means that I have to look everywhere else because there’s nothing to be found. That’s what we tell ourselves. 

And we create the “no other way” factor in our situation.

So that’s the first and the most important thing to realise. 

You’re never left without options in life. Never!

It’s never a one-way road. 

Allah (swt ) is the Most Merciful, the Most Wise; Al-Hakim. 

He (swt) wouldn’t create us all different, and then give us only one way to survive. 

That’s the most important thing to realise. It’s a huge misunderstanding that we humans face.

You don’t have to blame anyone. You don’t have to blame yourself or your parents or the teachers or school or work. 

You don’t have to blame your boss either. You don’t have to blame a single person. 

Just get to grips with the fact that you have a choice to make. 

Most people blame themselves, then they get stuck.

They blame themselves and they berate themselves. And you don’t have to do that. 

Other people blame their spouse, their family, and their parents, they blame everyone but themselves.

What I’m saying is, park the blame game. Park it. 

You don’t need to engage in that because that’s not going to create any solution.

This is what keeps us stuck. The blame game is like a problem focus. 

We’re so focused on the problem, that we’re never going to be able to see the solution.

So I suggest that you focus on the fact that it’s a misunderstanding. Allah (swt) would never leave you without options.

There are always options. 

Allah (swt) says it: 

He doesn’t burden a soul beyond its ability. No one is going to be burdened beyond what they can cope with. 

That means that there’s always a way. 

So, the first and most important realisation is that you have options. You’re never left without options. 

As long as you remain stuck in this idea that there’s no option, you will remain stuck. 

If you can get to grips with the fact that you have a choice to make, then you can get busy looking for what the options are. 

Your Power – Your Choice 

What are the choices you have? 

This will help you to take back the reins of power. And you can choose your way out of any situation. 

We have the incredible power of choice. So you have a choice. 

You can choose to remain stuck. Or you can empower yourself by choosing an alternative reality. 

It may not be what you’re used to, or not comfortable with. But there’s always going to be another way. 

I work on this concept and understanding, through all of my coaching, with all of my clients, and through all of my teaching, because it’s the most powerful thing. 

It’s a powerful Kickstarter for life. 

You can have the life that you want. You can create the life of your dreams when you exercise your power.

Your power is the power of your mind to choose the things that empower you and set you free.

This is the foundational, building block of a happy and content life.

Let’s have a quick look at the alternative. 

What’s the alternative? Is it to stay stuck?

To stay in a state of paralysis of the mind where you’ll feel like you have no other way. And you won’t be able to get out of this situation that you find yourself in.

If that’s the alternative then it’s pretty bleak. So why choose no option? 

Even when you say you’ve got no option, that’s a choice.  Even when it seems like we have no options, that perception is a choice in itself.

And it’s totally disempowering.

The key is you have to trust that Allah ( swt)  would never leave you without an option. 

He would never leave you without a way.

He; the Most Beneficent will always give you a choice. He will always give you a way out.

If that’s the case, but you’re not feeling it, and you can’t see a way through, then you’ve got to realise that this is a misunderstanding. 

That misunderstanding has been created. You’ve got a mental block. 

In other words, it’s in the construction of your imagination.

You are blocking your way, by blocking your sight, by not being able to see.

If you can recognise this one thing, you’ll find a way because you will start to see options. But you have to be able to recognise your feeling of being stuck, and there being no way is not a reality.

It’s actually just a creation of your imagination and mind. 

That might really get under your skin. 

But your imagination is the most powerful thing. It’s like the centre of your mind. 

You create your reality using it. And if you tell yourself you’re stuck, then you’re stuck. 

But if you recognise that your imagination is not reality, then you can use it how you like. 

This is the most powerful lesson you need right now, if you’re feeling stuck and if you’re unable to take action. 

If you’re in a state of mental paralysis, not moving forward, not moving sideways, not taking action, not doing anything. 

If you’re feeling that, just recognise that there are always other options.

If you recognise that, then no more procrastination.

When you can see another way to get things done, you’ll have no more low moods and depressing thoughts about being stuck in this place forever.

Because there are other options. No more feeling like you’re drowning in anxiety and overwhelmed because you’ll see that it’s being created in your mind. 

The situation doesn’t have to be blocked. 

It’s not a dead end. There is no dead end. There are always other routes. You can totally get unstuck and create the life of your dreams.

But first, you must get unstuck. And in order to get unstuck, you’ve got to get creative with what’s challenging you and find an alternative route. 

That means finding your way out of this mind-made prison. It’s not permanent.

You cannot truly be stuck. Because there are always other ways. Allah ( swt)  has given us options and a choice. 

You will only remain stuck for as long as you choose to not find an alternative route. 

A lot of people when they feel stuck, they get emotional. 

Do you get emotional? Do you have meltdowns? 

Getting emotional and having a meltdown will not help. 

Emotional outbursts only exacerbate the feelings of paralysis, the feelings of being stuck, and the feeling of hopelessness, and despair.

Emotional meltdowns are like a dirty puddle of water that you’ve decided to sit in. It’s not an ocean, it’s just a puddle. 

You could just get up at any point, and brush yourself down. And you dry out soon enough. It’s not permanent. It’s not the only way. 

But a misunderstanding that will keep you stuck for as long as you remain in that misunderstanding. 

You can recognise there’s another way. Recognise that there are options and that you have a choice, and just take small steps.

Take the steps to move in any one of those directions.

Take a step in a different direction, move even if it’s just a little, and you instantly start to see some change.

When you see the change, you’ll realise you’re not stuck. When you see the change, you’ll realise that you can make things different.

You will feel like it’s unfamiliar territory which won’t be comfortable. But that’s a good thing. Make the move.

And you might even find yourself in a very different place before long.

Once you get comfortable with change, and change is always moving, it will help you to create a new norm.

It will become much easier and you won’t feel stuck. Because you’ll be moving.

You’ll be seeing different circumstances, and different situations.

Sitting in the same old situation day in and day out doesn’t make anything better. It’s simple. 

Change It If You Don’t Like It 

If you don’t like something in life, change the things you’re doing. Change the way you’re looking at things. And things will start to change. 

You’ll inevitably be happier when you begin to see the change. 

Because you will no longer feel stuck.

Stuck is the same old, same old. Unstuck or freedom is change. New things. 

The quicker you get to grips with change, the quicker you like how life looks. 

You’re not going to feel that stuck feeling anymore. And you’ll have the option to create life the way you want.

But in order to create, you have to move, you have to take action. You have to take small steps and you can absolutely do it. Just take small steps. 

You’re never truly stuck as long as you can see other options and exercise your power to choose.