Do you wonder what it’s truly like to make changes happen?
You may have struggled with the changes that you’ve wanted for so long, that it almost seems impossible.
You look at others and wonder how they do it.
If that’s true for you, you’re going to love this article because I show you the real possibility of change and how we do it.
I go into the actual process of changing and bringing about change in our lives where we’ve been stuck the most.
These aren’t changing superficial stuff, but it’s changing the things in your life that actually help you to develop, grow more, and become more.
It’s how I take my students through this process of transformation.
Now, before I share the exact details, I have a quick request.
My goal and my aim with the work that I do in the public sphere,is to help One Million Muslim Minds transform the state of their mind, the state of their emotions, the state of their life, and become the potential that they have within them.
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It’s already there. And my goal is to help you to make that happen.
So share this article with as many people you know because this will benefit everyone.
But my goal is to impact the lives of a million Muslims.
So I want you to share in the Ajr (reward of that) with me by sharing this with others.
Back to our topic.
A lot of times our belief in the possibility of change starts to wither. We start believing that it’s not possible.
Usually, because we’ve been stuck in it for so long or we’ve tried so many different things and it’s not working, it doesn’t stick, the changes only happen temporarily.
And that’s all we see.
IS IT POSSIBLE TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE?
How is it even possible? I’ll give you an example.
It’s a personal example.
I’m a regular person, there’s nothing special about me, except that I believe in the possibility that I can change anything if I realign myself with this next thing.
Ultimately if I realign myself with Divine guidance, anything becomes possible. Think about it like this.
What is impossible to Allah? Nothing.
There’s nothing impossible to Allah.
So if I connect myself to Allah (swt), everything becomes possible.
Bring it back to our everyday life.
The small changes that we want and really value, but we find so difficult to maintain, or make stick in our lives so that we’re not in a constant state of ups and downs, highs and emotional lows.
We’re not in a constant state of being okay with the family, being okay with the kids, and then getting all stressed out with them on the same day.
So how does that happen? It happens by realigning yourself to Allah (swt).
That’s one of the key things.
You might be thinking, you have a background in theology or you studied the science Islamic sciences, so how come you still struggle with it?
It doesn’t matter the level of knowledge we have. Of course, we need knowledge.
But it doesn’t matter if you’ve studied to the nth degree, all of the sciences, and you’re a specialist in it, you’re still going to struggle because knowledge doesn’t create transformation.
Knowledge is the prerequisite but knowledge is not transformation.
I use myself as an example because many of the things I share are things I struggled with at one point or another in my life.
Many of the things that I talk about in any of the work that I do, are based upon, a lot of the work that I’ve done, over the years, with my clients, with my students, and with myself primarily.
I’ve seen over and over again that it’s 100% possible to take charge of your life if we align ourselves to a set of principles.
The foremost and the prime one is aligning ourselves with the Divine Principle.
That takes me to the second thing, which is why you have the opportunity to transform your life in any way you want. Because most of the time we question whether we even have opportunity.
Even when opportunities are there, we think it’s not for us.
We think it’s for someone else, for the person who has the skills or who’s much better and in a much better place than we are.
No, that thought’s not true.
The opportunities are for you. Allah (swt) has given us the opportunity again, and again, and again.
The problem is we often don’t see it.
The greatest opportunity in my entire life and I searched for a good number of years, is understanding the Science of the Nafs.
By understanding the Science of the Nafs, I understand how to realign myself with Divine Principles.
The science of the Nafs is spirituality, psychology, and it’s physiology.
Spirituality means how we connect to Allah, the way that we think about Allah, and what we expect in our lives from Allah.
All of that is a part of it, but there’s so much more.
But one of the most vital things that we find throughout our lives is that we get disconnected very quickly.
We get disconnected when we’re not feeling good or because things aren’t going the way we want them to go.
And in that disconnection, we don’t see any opportunity.
But the opportunity is there.
The number one reason the opportunity is there for you is that you have the Science of the Nafs. Now, it wasn’t always there.
It wasn’t readily available.
I spent my life searching for it, studying, and doing all the things you do to get to it.
Now that we’re there, I see it over and over again, with myself, with my students, with my clients, and everyone that’s impacted by it.
Those of you who are listening to the podcast, I get your messages about how it’s transforming your life.
Allah (swt) is the one that facilitates all this. This is Divine Guidance so that’s your opportunity.
It’s the best opportunity you’re ever going to have because Divine Guidance is the roadmap to life.
The third thing you need is to master the essential core skills.
We do that in the Muslim Life Coach Institute, through teaching you how to develop more, how to grow more, and how to be more.
Mastering the core essentials is what you want to do every single day of your life.
What we do is the whole science; the Science of the Nafs is a human behavioural science.
It’s not just your behaviour but what causes it, what the outcomes of your behaviour are.
It impacts your whole life. We focus on transforming ourselves from our inner core, inside of us.
You want to make the changes happen inside of you where it impacts the outside of you.
So from the inside, you’ll begin a change that will reverberate in your life.
It will have a ripple effect that will come through to the outside of your life, everything around you, your material life, your relationships, everything.
This isn’t just about doing mind work and feeling better.
That’s the foundation of it but you have to get to a place where you can grow.
The problem for most of us is the challenges that we have and the obstacles that get in our way.
We get trapped in our minds and emotions and we haven’t understood how to change that.
Even if we have knowledge, even if you’ve studied theology, or psychology, or a modality of psychology.
We have to learn to master the mind.
In the Science of the Nafs, the mind is a constitution of two things,
The Qalb and the Aqaal, the heart and the intellect.
In traditional thinking, the thought is that the brain is the mind.
I’m telling you based on the Quran and the Sunnah that the mind is a constitution of those two things, the heart and the intellect.
And your mind isn’t the problem although we think the mind is a problem
CHALLENGES ARE NORMAL BUT NOT GETTING STUCK
Many times, I deal with my students and my clients who are struggling with OCD, or phobias or challenges that have them trapped in their lives.
A lot of times we think that the mind is the problem but it’s not. The content of your mind is the problem.
Being trapped in your emotions usually means you’re trapped in the content of your mind.
That’s the incessant thinking we do when we go over the same things repeatedly, in many different ways and it becomes so complex in our mind, that it’s almost impossible to fix it.
That’s why we think the possibility of change is very slim.
But you can totally change it.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve been struggling with.
Many of the students that go through the Nafs transformation programme, learn to coach themselves,master their mind and emotions, their life and their relationships.
Going through that process, they learn to master the core essential skills.
These core essential skills are mastery.
The effect is that you master your mind because we know that the struggle of the Nafs(the self) is the greatest.
When you’re able to master the self, master the Nafs, then you’re able to circumvent a lot of the challenges in your life.
You’re able to navigate through life and all the obstacles that we have and that we’re going to continue to have in life.
It’s normal to have challenges in life but getting stuck in them doesn’t have to be.
If it has become the norm for you, I want to tell you that it’s possible to not get stuck.
How?
We take charge of our lives by believing in the possibility of change.
You can do it because you’re a normal human being just like me, and that means you can do it.
The problem you may be having is that you get stuck in some of the mind drama that’s created inside of us, that has you feeling the way you feel.
Believing that it’s not possible but change is always possible.
ALIGN YOURSELF TO THE CORE OF YOUR BEING
Change is always possible because Allah (swt) ,your Creator, the One who creates all of this, has given you the ability to make those changes happen.
We do it by aligning ourselves with the Science of the Nafs.
When you understand this science, this knowledge, these core essentials, these principles of the Nafs, you’re able to see a way to make it happen, make it sustainable, and make it stick.
Then, of course, you’re mastering the core essentials.
This is what we do in the Nafs transformation programme.
we master the core essentials, you learn to become your own best coach, your own mentor.
In the process, you need coaching, so you get coaching and you need mentoring, so you get mentoring.
But most importantly, you learn practical ways of overcoming all of the challenges, trapped in emotions, trapped in mind, all of these things you can get out of.
There’s no trap when you learn how to overcome it when you have the key to unlock it.
That’s what the Science of the Nafs is.
It’s the key to unlocking life. It’s the key to unlocking your potential.
Even when you’ve been so successful in your life, and you get stuck and you’re thinking, I don’t understand why this has happened.
It doesn’t matter, as long as you have the keys to unlocking that, you can get out of it.
We do it by making sure we’re in a state of powerful mind and emotion, the power that clears away the fog because those emotions sometimes become a fog.
This is how you should do it.
Number one: Get clear on what’s really creating the mess in your mind.
What are those deep, hidden thoughts and beliefs that are getting you caught?
Number two: Focus on changing the actual causes.
When you’re clear on what they are, then you know what the actual cause is, and you can go through the process of making those changes happen.
Because you believe in it and you have an understanding of how the human mind works. So you’re able to make those shifts happen.
And it can’t be rushed.
You can’t rush it.
If you want real changes that last, you don’t want to rush it.
Yes, you want it to feel better quickly but feeling better quickly isn’t the end result.
You want sustainable changes that go beyond your feelings, where you don’t just feel better, but your life changes, your relationships change ,the dynamics of how you show up in your life daily, how much energy you have, that all changes.
That’s what you want. The feeling part of it is the beginning.
So you can feel better very quickly and there’s lot of quick fixes,a lot of the people that I’ve worked with were getting caught up in quick fixes.
They get caught up in trying to be so meticulous with making these things happen, that they stop themselves from making it happen.
Because they complicate it and quick fixes don’t bring about lasting change.
Quick fixes will make you feel better in the short term and that’s fine.
But we want to feel better, and then we want to actually be better.
Being better is the living part. Not that there’s anything wrong with you but it means that you’re constantly learning to develop more, grow more, and be more.
This is an essential ethos in the Muslim Life Coach Institute.
You’ve got to go through these three phases because it actually impacts your whole life.
Going back to some of the behavioural challenges that many of us face.
We face them because we get caught up in the mind and we get caught up in the emotions.
When we get caught up in that, we often can’t see because those emotions are like a fog, and you can’t see what’s creating it all for you.
So when you clear that away, you’re able to see.
Let me reiterate that.
Number one, you get clear on what’s creating the mess. And we’re talking about the deep hidden thoughts and beliefs that you have.
Number two, you’re focusing on the actual changing of the causal factors, not all the symptoms that you’re having as a result of it, which is what most of us spend all our time doing.
Number three, you have to be willing to slip and not give up. Be prepared to slip along the way; it’s an integral part of the journey.
SLIP BUT KEEP MOVING
When I think about my life and how much slipping I’ve done, call it failure, or whatever you like. I’ve done a lot of it.
But being willing to fail, willing to slip, willing to feel that discomfort, I learn something new, every single time.
Sometimes I just learn how I shouldn’t do it. And other times, I learn to grow, I learn to actually develop more.
I learn to become more.
I do that by seeing what works and what doesn’t.
The discomfort of being willing to slip is that you don’t give up.
Because the only real failure is giving up.
As long as you are willing to make it happen, you’ll slowly but surely change the internal programming, to put it differently.
But the internal programming, the way that you’re currently thinking, feeling, behaving, and showing up in your life, you’ll surely be able to change that.
Slipping and failing is all part of the process.
In the Nafs Transformation process, throughout the whole programme, we factor that in. We expect it.
But we have a daily kickstart. Beginning fresh. Each day is your next best chance to make life happen.
That’s the way we think about life. Each day, you’ll make your life happen. We factor that in and it’s really important.
Lastly, point number four is about, When is the best time to live?
And the answer is simple. Now is the only time.
Most of the problems my students had before they came on this journey, was that they were always waiting for the best moment, always waiting for a better moment, always looking for a shortcut or a quick fix.
Honestly, we’ve all done that.
All of us.
That never works. It keeps us delaying the results.
If you wait for the right moment, it will always be in your mind.
You’re always going to think the right moment is next month, next year, when the school starts again, or when the kids are not around. When I don’t have these responsibilities.
Your right moment is when you’re tired of not having control and you’re ready to transform your life. This is the right moment.
That’s the moment and the only moment is now. This is what we’re taught in the Sunnah of the Messenger (saw). This is what we’re taught throughout the Deen.
We are people of change and growth. We’re forever in a state of Ihsaan.
We’re forever in a state of perpetual growth and development.
It’s not something that you’re going to reach one day. It’s something that we do every day, one tiny piece at a time.
Your best investment is to focus on you.
We’re always focused on the work, on the kids, and thinking if we get everything right, it will make us feel better.
But what we miss out is that, when they don’t listen, you get stressed out. When they don’t do as you want them to, you feel like you’re failing as a parent or you’re failing somewhere in your life.
When we don’t get things to go the way we want them to in life, then we get stressed out.
That happens because we don’t have the tools to deal with it. We haven’t focused right now on making those small, tiny incremental changes.
You are the most capable person. You can act in the service of Allah and yourself.
Serving yourself means investing your time now in helping and developing yourself.
These are the very things that we use to make those changes happen and stick. It’s your birthright. You have the skills. You can think.
The mere fact that you’re reading this message shows that you’re in the best place, the best time, and you have the opportunities.
All you have to do is say yes to yourself and say no to everything else. That’s the most important thing. You are your best investment.
Focus on you.
We always focus on the kids or the family, or your spouse or everything else.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that but when they don’t comply with the way we think things should be, we get really upset.
We get stressed and we become dependent on others to make us feel good.
We’ve become dependent on everything around us to make us feel good and worthy. Our jobs, our circumstances.
The reality is the only one that can give you that is you.
You have to invest your time and focus in yourself so that you develop more, you grow more, and you become more every day.
That’s an incremental change that will change your life completely. You’ve got to start today.
You can’t start on the day you want the results because you’ll think it’s never going to happen.
You’re going to be waiting forever and what most people do is give up.
They give up because they’re always delaying everything. The best time for you to take those opportunities and make it happen is in your life today.
Make your life happen.
You can do this. You’re the most capable person in your life.
You can bring about the changes that no one else can bring.
Allah (swt) is always going to support you with that.
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