#085 A Mentor that Understands You

Have you ever thought to yourself?

If I could just find a mentor, someone who really understands my situation, who understands what I’m going through, then I could fast track my way out of this problem, out of this situation  or I could fast track my way to the results I want in my life. 

If that’s you, I know what you’re talking about, because I spent most of my life looking for people who could help me to fulfil that. 

Strangely, I found it where I least expected it. So in this article, I share how you can do the same. 

This is a special one for me because I did it when I travelled to Umrah.

TRAVEL BACK WITH ME TO UMRAH

I’m sitting in the Haram. I’m in Makkah and I thought to myself, 

I’ve been making a lot of Dua and normally whenever I come, I try to get to the Haram, as much as I can, but at least once a year. 

I plan out my next year, two years, three years. I plan out a period of my life. 

In that plan, I guarantee myself results by using a formula. And I teach this formula; the Nafs Transformation.

It’s the dream realisation formula. It’s something that you can do, and it’s something that I’ve been doing for more than 20 years now.

By the grace and mercy of Allah, it has been the rock of my life. 

I teach you how to do it in the Nafs transformation programme . 

One of the fundamental things that every human being needs is mentorship, leadership, and someone to guide you.

Someone to show you how it’s done, someone to help you fast track your results. 

WHY MENTORSHIP?

I’ll give you a background on the whole mentorship thing because the fruits of my search for mentorship are what led me to set up the Muslim Life Coach Institute. 

In that journey of trying to solve problems, searching and searching, traveling, studying, signing up with lots of different teachers, scholars, coaches, and different people. 

As I’ve gone through that journey, the one thing that has come out of that has been The Science of the Nafs, the  human behavioural science, the life optimisation science, the therapeutic coaching model that I teach all of my students and my coaches.

It’s the same thing that we based the entire programme of the Nafs Transformation on and that’s where the secret of the Nafs lies. 

I’ll go back to the secret of the Nafs but let me continue to focus on  mentorship.

Mentorship: It’s the thing that fast-tracks your results. 

When I was looking for it, I approached so many people,  famous people, people who are well known for their expertise, and people who were just exceptional teachers and trainers.

I approached so many and I invested an enormous amount of money in trying to find this. And in that process, I became what I was looking for. 

Now, it’s not because I’m special. 

But it’s because I was willing to pursue it and find it. 

And what I teach I use that to make this whole thing happen. 

The reason mentorship was important to me was that I wanted to get the results without having to fail a million times and not achieve anything.

I didn’t want to go through my life and fail at the end of it. I didn’t want to go through my relationships and fail my relationships.

I didn’t want emotional turbulence all my life.

We all experience that emotional turbulence, the emotional highs and lows, feeling anxious, feeling overwhelmed with life, feeling disconnected in that connection with your Creator, not feeling  that Khush in your Salah, not feeling that connection at all sometimes.

So when we’re looking for that, what we want is, a mentor, or a teacher or a scholar to study with, someone that’s going to help you to fast track it. 

What happened in my life was that an accumulation of different mentors, teachers, and scholars, came together to form what I needed. And what I wanted. 

What I was always looking for, is to excel in life. 

I wanted to have great relationships. Relationships full of love and mercy, and not anger, frustration, resentment, and sadness. 

I didn’t want to mess up my own relationships with my kids or my wife. I didn’t want to mess up my own life. 

I didn’t want to be in a situation where I was always feeling on edge. 

Always worried, always stressed, always overwhelmed. Always overdoing things, overworking  to try and compensate for the things that I was lacking in.

Then the thought came into my mind, why don’t you just find someone who’s already done it?

If you find someone who’s already done it, they already know how then they can just show you.

You don’t have to sit there trying to figure it out for the rest of your life. And that’s what I sought after, for a long time. 

THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE 

In that journey, by the grace and mercy of Allah, there were many amazing mentors, many truly genius people, and scholars that I studied with, and trained with, and I spent a lot of my life with. 

Because I wanted those results.

The end result of all of that was that I understood the Science of the Nafs. I understood how to live the most optimal life according to  a divine design.

The divine design is your natural flow. 

It’s the natural way that you’ve been created. It’s the way that you flow, it’s the way that you do well, it’s the path of least resistance. 

Allah (swt) created us that way. Who knows you better than your Creator? 

So I found the secret of the Nafs in the Quran and the Sunnah.

I found it in the Tafseer of the Quran and Sunnah, in  the Sharh of many of the Hadith that we read day to day. In the application, in the Tarbiyah, in the nurturing and the application of how we take that and apply it to our lives.

Of course, it was trial and error, trying to figure it out. It was   studying the different sciences.

Many of my students are qualified in theology. Some of them are Ulamaa, who have studied the sciences, and they don’t know this stuff. This is all very new.

I’ve been asking Allah for this for more than 20 years, and pursuing it, and when applying the dream formula, I came to the results.

I came to the Science of the Nafs, it’s the Deen; it’s the Quran and  Sunnah. 

But it’s applied in a way where we take ourselves from living the life that we’re living and trying to figure it out to actually following the divine design. 

When you follow the divine design, that’s the path of least resistance. That’s the path where you learn to feel better quickly. 

You’re not forever stuck in emotions. This is the path of empowerment.

This is not the path of someone else will do it for me. This is the path of I will do it, I will become empowered, I will become the one who leads my life.

When you become that person, you become the most powerful version of yourself. 

This is exactly what Allah (swt) tells us in Surah  Aale Imran, verse 110,

كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ آمَنَ أَهْلُ الْكِتَابِ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُم ۚ مِّنْهُمُ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَأَكْثَرُهُمُ الْفَاسِقُونَ 

You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah. If only the People of the Scripture had believed, it would have been better for them. Among them are believers, but most of them are defiantly disobedient.

You’re the best of the people that were taken out from the people and you were made the best. How do you become the best? you become that best by 

 تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

Enjoining the good 

We know that this is it. But the key is 

 وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ

And believe in Allah

Now, many of you folk, especially theologians, we take an understanding of this, and we apply it to our lives, but then we still struggle.

THE SIMPLEST SUCCESS SYSTEM OUT THERE

Here’s the thing. In the Science of the Nafs, how we look at this is that you are and have the potential to be the best of the best.

You have the potential. You’re not the best just by default, just because you were born a Muslim, or you came into Islam. 

That doesn’t make you the best.

What makes you the best is that you actually become that person. 

The way we do it is that we take ourselves and align ourselves with the divine design, which is how Allah has created us and the guidance, showing us what gets us there. 

In the Science of the Nafs, we take the Quran and the Sunnah, and we take it from information to actualisation. 

It’s not the, let’s just learn some more and more and more.

This is the part where we go from the information to the actual living, the practical, daily steps that we can take, where it actually changes our lives.

It’s where we feel better, we build better relationships, we get over trauma issues, we get over the past, we get over the future anxieties.

In that process, you become the best that you can be. And even though that’s the case, you still need mentorship.

Even with all of that you still need someone to take you through a process of change. 

This is why I set up the Muslim Life Coach Institute.

The Nafs Transformation programme is from  my quest of more than 25 years in studying and having different mentors and all of the things that I’ve done to understand this science and understand how to live the most optimal life, to be happy, and to be content. 

Contentment is in your connection to Allah. To be happy is subject to your situation and how you perceive that situation. 

To be excited about your life, where you’re headed, to have direction. 

I’ve packed all of these things into the Nafs Transformation programme.

The Nafs Transformation programme is where I teach you to train your own mind.

We don’t shy away from hard work. We don’t sit and wait for someone else to fix our problems. 

I help you and I mentor you through that. But ultimately, I give you the tools to empower yourself.

If you’re following the blog series, this is exactly what you’ve been getting. You’ve been getting the results because you’re following the mentorship.

Even through this article, I’m mentoring you.

This is not a haphazard programme, where we’re just going from place to place to place and just randomly trying to figure life out. 

The Nafs Transformation programme will give you the tools. 

This is exactly what I do in this blog post. I’m helping you through your life, using this. 

This is where I actually mentor you, through your own life, through your own thought processes, through your relationships, through your anxieties, wherever you get stuck. 

The Nafs  transformation is a fast track to creating the life that you want. We do it in a very short space of time. A year is not a long time in your life.

If you’ve spent the last five years, 10 years, and 20 years trying to get out of your life what you truly want, then you’ll be amazed by what we do in 12 months.

Every 12 months is like a lifetime because it uplevels your life.

Even in this article, I’m helping you to go through transformation. I want you to understand it. 

I get so many messages from you, telling me that going through this process has transformed your life.

Alhamdulillah, I know truly, that Allah(swt) is the one that guides you.

Allah (swt) is the one that gives you Shifaa, and Allah(swt) is the one that gives you everything you need. 

If he’s guiding you to this school, this programme, then know that Allah (swt)  is answering your Duas. So don’t ever despair and think that your Duas are going unanswered. 

The very fact that you’re listening to this is an answer to a Dua that you must’ve made. 

So many of my coaches and the students in the Nafs Transformation all say the same thing. That they were making Dua for this.

They were asking Allah for this.

And I get it because I did the same thing over and over again. So I’m sitting here in the Haram and I’m truly overwhelmed with gratitude. 

Overwhelmed isn’t really the word but I feel like bursting with gratitude, bursting with love of my Creator, because I know that Allah (swt) is forever answering my Dua, as he does yours. 

Sometimes we just don’t see it.

The very fact that you’ve come to this, Allah (swt) is guiding you and how do we know that? 

Are these just words to pump you up? No, it’s not. 

Because the Prophet (SAW)  said,

“‏من يرد الله به خيرًا يفقه في الدين‏”

The Messenger of Allah said, “When Allah wishes good for someone, He bestows upon him the understanding of Deen.

Whoever Allah wants good for, he gives them an understanding of this way of life; this Deen. That understanding is the opening of your mind, taking you to a new plane of life.

What we’re doing is uplevelling. We’re not staying on the same plane or on the same level.

We’re always uplevelling. 

So, the Science of the Nafs is the Deen; it’s a human behavioural science ,it’s psychology, theology, it’s understanding your life through revelation.

This is a revelation-based methodology. 

We’re going to change the world. Not by ourselves but as a collective.

The way we’re going to do it is by becoming the people that were meant to be the best. 

By becoming that, you live your best life. You live the most optimal life. 

As I sit here in the Haram, a stone’s throw away from the Kaaba. 

I feel compelled to tell you this. 

I’ve been asking Allah (swt) for this.

I know that this is the answer to the Dua of millions and millions, if not the whole of the Ummah, and the reality is we have the information. 

But information is not enough. You need to go from that information to actually living it. 

This process helps you to become empowered. 

Use what I’m teaching here in your life every day. 

EUREKA MOMENT 

I’m not here to entertain you. 

I’m here to help and support you. I’m here to mentor you. 

If you’ve been looking for a mentor all your life, then this is it.

Even if you don’t take me as a mentor, take this science and this understanding as the mentor, because Allah (swt) will guide you. 

He will show you the way and if it’s through this process, then use it. Don’t shy away from it.

Don’t tell yourself that there’s something better. There’s nothing better than the Quran and the Sunnah. 

There’s nothing better than the Science of the Nafs. 

The Science of the Nafs is the Quran and the Sunnah. We take it and apply it with a method and a process that helps us get the results; the best results in our relationships, in our mental health, in our spiritual health, in the way that we show up in life, and in how we flourish in our businesses.

In the business coaching programme, I teach my coaches this process. I train my Coaches on the process of establishing businesses.

I teach the process of mastering money and  a part of that is: if you’re forever thinking that you’ve got to be poor in order to succeed in the Akhira, that’s not the case.

Allah (swt) taught us categorically in the Dua : Our Lord gives us the goodness of the Dunya and then in Akhira. 

So the first thing you want to attain is success in the Dunya. 

When you take this science that I’m teaching through this, and apply it to your life, you will succeed Insha’Allah.

The Coaches that come out of this Institute are the best in the world. 

I say that without any hesitation because they have the best methodology in the world. A methodology based on divine design. 

Going through this process, you’ll learn to actually solve your own problems, overcome your own challenges, become the best you, and then help others become the best of them. 

But you can’t do that until you help yourself first, which is why the Nafs Transformation programme is mentorship. It is the coaching.

The most powerful thing is that you become empowered.

If you’ve been taking heed of  this  then you’ve already experienced something.

My goal with this is to mentor you, take you through a process, and help you up-level in your lives. 

Of course, I’m going to sell you on the programme. Of  course, I’m going to tell you that this is the best there is. 

It’s funny because I know that my students will laugh at it. I know that my Coaches laugh at it. 

I know that some of you get a little bit annoyed.

But if you’re getting annoyed,  I’m compelled to tell you this. 

If you’re a Coach and a Therapist, and you’re thinking, ‘Is what I’m doing not good enough?’

I’m not saying that. But what I’m saying is that this is based on divine design. I am inviting you to come and train with the Nafs Coaching School and become one of the best in the world. 

These tools will change the world. We’re going to change the industry completely. 

We’re going to change the lives of millions and millions of people. There are already, hundreds of 1000s. And you should become a part of this.

Mentorship is important because you were created to be a leader, but you can’t be a leader without that mentorship.

You were created to be the best but you can’t be the best without a mentorship that helps you to go from where you are to where you want to get to. 

To overcome the obstacles, fast track your results.

With the Nafs transformation programme, my role is to help you to take yourself to the next level which is to live the best life. 

Don’t underestimate what I’m teaching  here. I’m teaching you the best that there is. I want you to take it and apply it before you come into the programmes.

Use the blog, use the podcast, use the website resources, and become the best that you are. Apply it, live it and you will love your life Insha’Allah.

WIN IN THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT 

We want to be winners. 

We want to win in the Dunya and we also want to win in the Akhira. 

If you’ve been looking for mentorship, for answers, for the best way then there’s no better way than the Deen. 

This is it!

I’m sitting a stone’s throw away from the Kaaba and I’m inviting you to join the best life movement you’re ever going to live.

It will uplevel your life in ways you can’t imagine. The best time is now.

I looked for mentorship my whole life.

I wanted someone to tell me how to do it so that I could stop messing it up. 

I wanted someone to show me how so that I could stop feeling these awful feelings that I felt for so long, not even knowing what they were. 

I just wanted someone to show me how to have the best relationships, to gain success without sabotaging the rest of my life. 

I used to throw myself into my work so much and I would succeed at a level that I wanted to, and at the cost of my life, my health, my relationships, and my mental health.

It led me to burn out.

I’ve always been ambitious and Alhamdulillah I don’t ever regret my ambition.

My ambition leads me to Allah because my number one goal is to serve my Creator.

Sitting here in the Haram, I am bursting with gratitude, because Allah (swt) guided me to this science, guided me to understand this, and guided me to the most wonderful people, the community of coaches that we’ve built up, and the students who are transforming their lives.

My readers of the blog, my students who listen  to the podcast, and avid listeners, apply it in their lives in South America, in Asia, Africa, the Americas, Europe, and all over the world. 

Allah (swt) brought us together, I know that.

The mentorship that you’ve been looking for is this. 

I want you to take it in whichever capacity, and I want you to apply it to your life.

Make the decision that you’re going to get the results in your life and do it now.

Don’t wait for another day, a better day, or whatever day.

Make that decision.  

I swear by the Lord of the Kaaba, if you do that, and you connect to Him; Azzawajal, you pursue this and you use this knowledge, your life will change. 

You will love your life, you will take yourself to places you’ve never, ever imagined you could go. That’s all in the Dunya before you get to the Akhira.

Anyway, do me a favour, and share this with everyone you know.

I want this message to impact all of humanity, not just a few of us,  but all of humanity.

So go to the website: https://themuslimlifecoach.org/ 

I feel emotional about this. I sit in the Haram and I make Dua for you. I ask Allah (swt)  to raise you in rank and make you the best of the best. Ameen.

I leave you with this and I hope you enjoyed that journey back in time with me. Jazakumullahu Khairan.