In this podcast episode, we dive into the world of relationships, and why we may be struggling to get married. We focus on why building meaningful connections seems like such an unachievable task.
Whether it’s forming new relationships or nurturing existing ones, we often experience difficulties that prevent us from truly enjoying them.
What You’ll Learn in this Podcast:
- How to transform yourself and create fulfilling relationships you desire to be in.
- Understanding mental barriers and finding solutions for the challenging areas we get stuck in.
- Learn to apply the Nafs psychology, as understood from the Quran and Sunnah.
Mentioned on the Podcast: (Click on Links)
Why is it so Hard to Get Married or Stay Married?
Often, we attribute these struggles to external circumstances, the people involved, or worse to ourselves. However, there’s a deeper layer at play.
One of the main causes of staying stuck in relationships, or lacking meaningful relationships, is a mental block that keeps us stuck in a feeling, and we think we can’t get past it.
As the founder of The Muslim Life Coach Institute, I work with a wide and diverse range of people in the Nafs Coaching School.
A key focus of the programme is on mental health and wealth. Wealth, in the literal sense, but also in the sense of abundance in your life.
We work on how to actually create wealthy relationships.
Relationships are the foundation of your life and happiness. It’s your connection to everyone around you, both on a personal and professional level that helps to enrich and uplifts your life, and makes us who we are.
This is the very thing I train all my students, coaches and community on. How to relate to people, how to understand people, and how to actually help people through their challenges, that’s the business we’re in.
Whether you’re seeking the ideal partner, or just trying to strengthen current connections, past experiences can sometimes act as mental barriers, and you may not even realise it.
Trauma or negative experiences can generate an overwhelming fear of re-experiencing and reliving that pain, disappointment, trauma or sadness.
This fear leads to a desire to avoid potential problems and the self preservation mode kicks in, we go into protecting ourselves from these harms.
But this very instinct to stay safe can leave us trapped in a cycle of avoidance, procrastination and disconnection.
These mental barriers are the invisible walls that prevent us from forming healthy and meaningful relationships, or finding the right partner, even if that person is right in front of us.
So, even if you feel like you’re progressing, when you come up against this invisible wall of thoughts this has you stop in your tracks, and it will leave you feeling like you can’t go any further.
These bad thoughts create a plethora of terrible feelings, and you then go to avoidance, and then self sabotage pulls you away from opportunities.
Our thoughts are the very thing that play the most pivotal role in creating and maintaining these invisible walls.
We perceive these thoughts as reality and unchangeable truths. However, the reality is far from this, and they’re absolutely something you can change.
Allah (swt) has granted us the faculty of mind, and the ability to take charge of our minds. It’s this God given power we teach you to harness in the Naf Coaching School.
However, you must be willing to take an introspective look into your mind, and be open and prepared to do something about it. If you’re open to possibility, you’ll soon find you get stuck because all the invisible walls you have will disappear inshAllah.
The key to discovering what’s blocking you, is to challenge these thoughts. It’s at this point you can begin dismantling these invisible walls and barriers.
Your thinking, awareness and understanding is a key part of unlocking your mind. However, understanding the problem only isn’t enough for change to take hold. Change also requires the essential element, which is called “action”.
Here’s an actionable plan to break down these invisible walls:
- Focus on one specific area in your life, where you feel held back, or struggle to establish meaningful connections.
With pen and paper, write down all the thoughts that flood your mind when you think about this area. Be very honest with yourself, but don’t be judgmental with yourself.
Look through your thoughts and question it to see if it’s conducive and empowering for the results you want.
- Ruminate on these thoughts and reflect on the feelings that you get. If you find the negative thoughts and feelings, then you have found your invisible wall. These thoughts are the root cause of your avoidance and mental blocks.
The process of finding your invisible wall can be used to find your problems in all your relationships, in your business, coaching your clients, in your therapy practice, and in anything that you feel you’re stuck in.
Once you’ve identified the thoughts, think about whether they’re holding you back or serving you.
Taking action to change those negative thoughts that are holding you back will enable you to turn these thoughts to something thats empowering, thoughts that drive results and build relationships.
Your personal transformation journey with the Science of the Nafs psychology, gives you a deeper understanding of human behaviour, which is rooted in the Quran and Sunnah.
You begin to realise that change is possible; your Creator has equipped you with the faculty of mind to transform your thoughts, behaviours and results.
Remember, you can’t change what you can’t see, so be prepared to look. Once you’ve uncovered those invisible walls, you have the tools and power to change them.
JOIN THE MIND & LIFE TRANSFORMATION : This is a journey of Coaching Counselling and mentoring where you will transform life as you know it. If you’re ready CLICK HERE for more info. You will Love this Quran and sunnah based Psychology model.
About the Author: Abdul Shahid – Master Coach Trainer & Therapist of Professional Life Coaches, using The Science of the Nafs Psychology model for healing, transformation and peak performance. Specialist in Mind health, wealth and mastery using this Quran and sunnah based Spiritual Psychology.
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