In this episode I go into the fundamental aspects of improving your relationships, healing from the past, and finding contentment in your connection with others. 

Every relationship needs a key essential for it to be good and fulfilling. 

What You’ll Learn in this Podcast:

  1. How to start building good relationships.
  2. The importance of trust in your relationships.
  3. Relationship with yourself.  

Mentioned on the Podcast: (Click on Links)

Relationships of Love and Mercy

If you know me and the work within the Muslim Life Coach Institute, you know what we do is reframe our lives through human behaviour or the Science of the Nafs.

We focus on improving, healing, and growing in our relationships. 

One of the key fundamentals of healthy relationships is trust. 

Now, what I see a lot from the relationship coaching and therapy I do is that when we struggle to trust, it reflects an internal battle. 

We don’t like to think about it. So we try to keep ourselves distracted.

But trust actually begins with us trusting ourselves. Trusting yourself is key so that you can become a giver and not a taker in relationships. 

When you trust yourself, you’ll be able to enjoy being yourself without being alone. 

This is why our thoughts are so important. 

What we think every day creates the emotions we’re experiencing and the behaviour we exhibit. So understanding what’s happening in our minds is important for improving our relationships. 

When things aren’t going right, when you feel stuck, or when you feel like your relationships are troubled, you start to behave in ways we don’t like.

And afterward, we start to regret our behaviour and feel guilty. We start questioning ourselves, looking for reasons why. 

Why did I do this? Why am I behaving like this? 

Maybe I don’t trust Allah, maybe I have a Tawakkul; Reliance issue,

This will impact your relationship with Allah(swt) and it will only make you feel bad about who you are. This self-dislike can lead to behaviours that are out of sync with who you want to be and you’ll start to lose trust in yourself. 

The good news is you can get out of this and not remain stuck in a vicious cycle of self-dislike and guilt or sometimes blaming others. 

Our relationships with others are intertwined with our relationship with ourselves and our connection with our Creator. 

It starts with you.

To improve your relationships, you have to get back to yourself. 

You have to focus on building a solid foundation with you,  your mind, your spirituality, your connections, the way you show up in the world, and the level of energy you have.

In the Nafs Coaching School, this is exactly what I take my students through. As we go through the process, we focus on getting aligned with what is best for the optimum version of us.

So the number one thing is to work on your relationship with yourself and with your Creator. And then with the rest of the world. 

You’ll stop chasing all of the things in life, hoping for some peace or tranquillity or calm, because that doesn’t come anywhere near what you can achieve in your three core relationships with yourself, with your Creator, and with others.

When you’re at peace with yourself, all your other relationships will follow suit.

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About the Author: Abdul Shahid – Master Coach Trainer & Therapist of Professional Life Coaches, pioneering The Science of the Nafs Psychology model for healing, transformation and peak performance. Specialist in Mind health, wealth and mastery using this Quran and sunnah based Spiritual Psychology.