#097 Relationship and Parenting Skills

If you’ve ever felt unappreciated, frustrated, and distant from your kids, you’re not alone. 

This episode is about the challenges of parenting, especially when it comes to building strong relationships with our children.

What You’ll Learn in this Podcast:

1. How to bond and build the bridge in your parent-child relationship.
2. The role your mental state plays in forming good relationships. 
3. Using the guidance from the Quran and Sunnah properly.

Mentioned on the Podcast: (Click on Links)

• Nafs Coaching School
• Mind Health & Relationship training (Free Training & Newsletter)

How Do You Build Parental Relationships?

This week’s Podcast Masterclass we offer insights and solutions to bridging the gap and fostering meaningful connections using the Science of the Nafs approach.

Many parents face the struggle of feeling unappreciated and disrespected by their children.

We get really frustrated, angry, and resentful and we want to give them a piece of our mind. But the fear of damaging relationships holds us back.

When we’re thinking about managing people, our families, and raising our kids, what we really aspire for and want is the best for them.

We want the best outcome and results so that we can all share it together. 

If that’s your goal and you want to get the best out of them. Then the number one thing that you have to focus on, is who you are in that relationship, and how you connect in that relationship.

When we show up in any relationship, it’s important to recognise which place we’re coming from emotionally. 

Are we doing it from a place of love and compassion and wanting to have a joyous relationship with them?

Or, are we doing it from a place of fear and worry that everything’s going to go wrong, that they’re going to mess it all up and you’re going to be responsible?

Parenting that’s driven by fear only creates a negative environment that your children will no doubt dislike. Even if your thoughts are aimed at preventing that very problem. 

If you try to build your family life around fear, it only brings about negativity, affects communication, engagement and you end up with strained relationships.

That might mean your kids are never home because they don’t want to be around the negative energy. They don’t want to come home from university to spend time with you. 

They don’t want to talk to you.

They feel agitated every time you say something. It could be the only reaction that you seem to get from them.

To counter all this, you want to nurture your relationships with love, excitement, and motivation. 

This means you get yourself into a good state of mental health first and foremost.  If you create a shift in your own mindset, then as a result you become warmer in your behaviour and your mannerisms.

Your mindset shift starts the process of changing strained relationships between you and your kids. You find you become warmer, you can start spending more quality time together. 

However, that quality time should be focused on creating an environment of ease, comfort, and enjoyment without overbearing rules and control. 

You’ve got to build bridges and these bridges must be solid. In the beginning they may feel a little wobbly, but with persistence building these connections will become part of every relationship. 

Your mental health is of paramount importance because the way that you show up in your relationships will impact all your relationships. 

Changing yourself and how you show up in a relationship leads to changes in others’ behaviour. It has a compounding effect on improving relationships without the all overbearing, compelling, and problematic behaviours that spurn from feart. 

Of course, change takes time and it’s not always simple but if you build the bridge and the connection step by step, you’re going to get there Insha’Allah.