#081 Perfectionism Ruining Relationship

Perfectionism often creeps into the lives of ambitious individuals who are striving to achieve results. In this episode we deal with the topic of perfectionism and how it ruins your relationships if left unchecked.

What You’ll Learn in this Podcast:

1. Perfectionism, the impact on relationships.
2. Why mercy is so important.
3. How to overcome perfectionism in 2 steps.

Mentioned on the Podcast: (Click on Links)

• Nafs Coaching School
• Mind Health & Relationship training (Free Training & Newsletter)

Perfectionism the Relationship Destroyer

I go deep with this subject because it’s a personal experience. It’s about overcoming it and how I did it.

The problem that we have is that we try and live up to these ideals, and we try and show up in life by being the best that we can be.

But we are perfectly imperfect. Allah (swt) created us in the best form. 

Our relationships are impacted because of the way we show up in our day-to-day lives and the way we feel about it. But we don’t always draw this correlation.

The more you try to make things perfect, the harder you make it on yourself. And you push yourself to the brink of burnout. 

Most of the time it’s because we hold these thoughts that we call values, and then we’re imposing them on ourselves. 

As you read this, ask yourself if you’re imposing these unrealistic standards on yourself.

Do you justify this and refuse to acknowledge the pressure it’s putting on you?

That’s what many people do and it just makes you feel worse.  

Being hard on yourself due to seeking perfection makes things more difficult. 

That’s why it’s important to be merciful. Allah(swt) sent the Prophet (saw) to humanity; to everyone, as a source of mercy. 

So to feel the ease of being human, you need to experience mercy. 

If you can’t be merciful to yourself and be forgiving, then it’s going to break you. 

You might think you’re being productive, but this path can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even avoidance.

Start by showing yourself some mercy, leniency, and compassion for being human. Give yourself a break by reminding yourself that you’re human.

That compassion will help you to extend it to others in your interaction with them. 

Then, challenge your justifications because they’re just opinions. If they don’t contribute positively to your relationships and life, it’s time to put them aside. 

You have to be flexible with yourself. The more flexible you are, the less of a perfectionist you’re going to be.

The more imposing you are upon yourself, the more of a perfectionist you’re going to be. It will drive you to burnout and explosive emotions and behaviours which will impact your relationships negatively.

Implement these two key steps incrementally and you will see the transformation unfold. 

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About the Author: Abdul Shahid – Master Coach Trainer & Therapist of Professional Life Coaches, pioneering The Science of the Nafs Psychology model for healing, transformation and peak performance. Specialist in Mind health, wealth and mastery using this Quran and sunnah based Spiritual Psychology.