#074 Managing Emotions & Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever questioned the concept of emotional intelligence? Do your emotions make sense sometimes? In this episode, I unpack this widely discussed topic, and how you manage and  lead your emotions. 

What You’ll Learn in this Podcast:

1. The myth about emotional intelligence. 
2. Setting yourself up for success. 
3. How to overcome the emotional rollercoaster. 

Mentioned on the Podcast: (Click on Links)

• Nafs Coaching School
• Mind Health & Relationship training (Free Training & Newsletter)

Your Built-in Emotional System

Every person is inherently intelligent. It’s important to understand this as a foundation.

It’s something that Allah (swt) blessed all of us with. It’s known as Akl and it’s based on the inner state of your mind. 

Emotional intelligence is a topic we’re all familiar with, but setting this straight, just so you know, emotional intelligence is a myth. It doesn’t exist. 

If you’re startled by what you just read, I’ll explain. Emotions are not intelligent because they often follow our thoughts. 

Emotions often override our intelligence. Here’s an example. 

Take the smoker as an example. Someone fully aware of the harm smoking causes. 

Add to that, the warnings written on the box and the awareness campaigns in the media. 

But none of this makes a difference to the smoker because they have this habit based on the emotion telling them it’s a relief.

So the emotions rule. 

Your emotions tell you, it’s disliked. It’s not really Haraam. So it’s okay, don’t worry about it. And you continue.

Take any other example of something in your life that’s harmful, where you know the impact, yet you continue to do it. 

Why is this the case?

The self-help industry has made a killing by selling us emotional intelligence. And, you’re not to blame for thinking that it’s something that you need.

We’re always trying to figure out why we overreact, why we get into altercations, the reason for our behaviour, and why we struggle to manage our feelings. 

We’re always trying to figure out how to solve the emotional problem.

I always tell my students, that as they go through the Nafs Transformation, they’re learning to coach themselves, they’re learning coaching skills so that they can become their own best coach.

Self-coaching is key to setting yourself up for success. 

Emotions will have you feeling high when it’s not good for you, and low when you have a good reason to be content and happy.

That’s why emotions are not intelligent. Trying to learn how to be more emotionally intelligent consumes your time and energy. 

You lose your power when you follow your emotions.

The truth is you’ve probably created so much in your life already.

But when you get lost in those emotions, you can’t see any of it. I always tell my students to be focused on where their mind is taking them.

You need to be drawn into what you believe. That means taking a serious look at the cause of your emotional eruptions because most of the time we resort to the blame game. 

Emotions lead you astray and we exaggerate everything because of it. Before you know it, your relationships are wrecked, your self-esteem is wrecked and your confidence is knocked. 

Always go back to your mind, because that’s where it always comes back to.

Instead of drowning in it, get above the sea of emotions and discover your true sense of power. 

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About the Author: Abdul Shahid – Master Coach Trainer & Therapist of Professional Life Coaches, pioneering The Science of the Nafs Psychology model for healing, transformation and peak performance. Specialist in Mind health, wealth and mastery using this Quran and sunnah based Spiritual Psychology.